[2023-04-13] Serving others
It was a pyjama day today. The head cold that was creeping up on me yesterday took hold today and refused to let go. My nose was running, and I felt tired. Fortunately, my sore throat of yesterday has largely disappeared, and I haven't developed a cough. I expect to feel better tomorrow.
Today might be described as what author May Sarton called "an empty day":
I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged, damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room.
Indeed, today wasn't an empty day. Sedentary, yes. Empty, no. My most important activity was talking with a friend who has recently received some upsetting health news. This friend has been a beautiful presence in my life, caring for me when I was vulnerable and discouraged. I still remember the day she saw me outside her office, took one look at my sad face, and gently pulled me into her safe space to listen and to talk to me about what I was going through. And she has been a generous cheerleader throughout my cancer journey. Fittingly, I spent today's pyjama day in the pyjamas she sent me when I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Through our conversation, she made me feel valued and valuable. I was reminded of a quote by Toby Mac that I had included in this blog early in my writing:
What you are walking through at this moment may just be the story that helps get someone else through.
I am honoured to put my experience to use in serving others traveling a path similar to mine.
Tonight, I searched for quotes that had given me strength and peace while undergoing cancer treatment. I share these three, for my friend and for others who are experiencing a challenging time:
Life has taught me I am not always in control. Life is full of experiences, lessons, heartbreak, and pain. But, it has also shown me love, beauty, possibility, and new beginnings. Embrace it all. It makes us who we are, and after every storm comes a clear sky.
~ Unknown
My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger—something better, pushing right back.
~ Albert Camus
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
~ Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
What is remarkable about my friend is how appreciative, sensitive and understanding she already is, how compassionate, gentle and loving she is, how kind, thoughtful and tender she is. I imagine that, in the months ahead, she will become even more beautiful than she already is.
She's also very funny and not above a little shenanigans. In 2011, my friend was on hand to deliver the keynote speech at an event I had organized. I was having trouble getting the employees to take their seats so that I could get the event under way. So I asked my friend for a little help. Together, we began singing "Alouette." The room went very quiet.
I had noted that story in a blog post from that period. I also captured several inspiring messages my friend delivered at that time, two of which I reproduce here. Though they focus on leadership, they could apply to one's personal life.
On optimism
The best way to deal with transition, opportunity, challenges and adversity is with optimism and resourcefulness. Optimism has an amazing multiplier effect. It should be evident at the top, it is generally contagious and it can be generated and perpetuated at any level of an organization. Unfortunately, the "dialogue of despair," unchecked, can have equally far-reaching effects.
On teams
Take care of yourself and take care of each other. You do not control everything that you deal with each day. What you do control is the way in which you respond, treat each other, and take care of yourselves so that you are resilient, healthy, and strong. You will find that if you look after people well they will generally give you their best.
My friend has looked after so many people in her lifetime, myself included. I am touched that she allowed me to return the favour today.
