[2023-04-21] Imagining your possible self
Yesterday, a friend sent me a link to a New York Times article about imagining a different version of yourself, as a precursor to making a change in your life. The article's author, Joanne Lipman, notes that the concept of imagining "possible selves" was coined by social psychologists Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius. She explains:
A possible self can take you beyond daydreams, which are often fleeting and not necessarily grounded in reality. It can come to fruition "if you build a bridge from your ‘now’ self to the possible self," Dr. Markus said.
To illustrate the concept of imagining a different version of yourself, Lipman describes a conversation with James Patterson. Years ago, she interviewed Patterson, then a successful advertising executive, with the intent of focusing on his latest campaign for a fast food company. Instead, Patterson wanted to talk about writing fiction. A decade later, Lipman saw Patterson on TV, holding up his latest book. She writes:
James Patterson had morphed from advertising executive into best-selling author. He has since published more than 100 New York Times best sellers and co-authored books with the likes of Bill Clinton and Dolly Parton.
Patterson's journey from ad man to bestselling author was rooted in a long-held sense of self. Lipman quotes Patterson:
"Maybe I was delusional, but I never thought of myself as an advertising person," he told me when I asked how he’d done it. "I always planned to be a writer. I hoped to be a writer. It was always in my head."
Lipman's article—based on her book NEXT! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work—offers five tips for reinventing yourself:
- Envision your future. Identify what you want to become. Imagining a positive future self can improve well-being and reduce symptoms of depression by focusing on the potential for a better future.
- Take action. Enroll in a course, shadow someone who does what you want to do, practise your craft. Just don't quit your day job, at least not immediately. Lipman points out that Patterson wrote 12 books while at his ad agency.
- Find an expert companion. This could be a therapist, but it could also be a supportive person who knows your strengths and weaknesses and who can see potential in you that you don't see yourself.
- Share your goal. Lipman references a 2015 study that found that more than 70% of participants who sent a weekly update to a friend completed their goals, twice the success rate of those who hadn't shared their goals in writing.
- Reach out to old friends and acquaintances. Lipman recommends connecting with people you haven't spoken to in years ("dormant ties") and people you know only casually ("weak ties"). Why? "Reams of research, including an analysis of LinkedIn data, have found that, whether you’re job hunting or seeking breakthrough advice, people in your larger network are more likely to help surface fresh ideas than those closest to you are."
Lipman's counsel regarding possible selves reminds me of James Clear's advice regarding identity. In Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, Clear writes:
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.
For my part, I would reinforce Lipman's first two suggestions: envision your future and take action. Both are prerequisites to making a change. In a 2017 blog post, I wrote:
I’ve often said that if you want to be something, you need to do whatever that is. Want to be a writer? Write. Want to be a singer? Sing. Want to be a public speaker? Speak in public.
I also identify with Clear's notions around identity. I can't remember when I first imagined myself as an author, but it goes back to my childhood. Writing has been a constant in my life, from crafting poems as a child, to journaling, writing freelance stories for a local newspaper and dabbling in fiction in my teens, to editing the school newspaper in high school, to studying journalism in university, to launching my first blog mid-career, to becoming an assistant deputy minister of communications in my late career, to launching my second blog when I was diagnosed with cancer.
I will never reach the level of a James Patterson, but that does not make my identity as a writer any less real. As I said in 2017, if you want to be a writer, write.
