[2023-04-22] Saturday Synopsis #40
3 Ideas From Me
One of the lessons I have learned in the past eight months...is that heartache cannot and should not be ignored or wished away or masked with inspirational quotes telling us that happiness is a choice. It is to be acknowledged and felt and worked through—all of which take time....
In moments when we feel consumed by self-doubt and uncertain about our direction, Erin Hanson's poem ["What if you fly?"] may provide a glimmer of hope:
There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh, but my darling,
What if you fly?
When we're feeling down-trodden, it is difficult to believe that we will stand again, let alone fly. But fly we will. For me, Hanson's poem is not simply about imagining a better tomorrow; it's about believing in a future that is more than we ever dreamed of—or at least more than we are capable of envisioning in the midst of heartache.
The greater challenge, I believe, is coping with limited output when our past productivity was so much higher. When cleaning a room used to be a breeze, cleaning a corner can feel like a huge setback. Changes in our capacity to get things done can occur for a variety of reasons: disability, injury, illness, surgery, pain, adjustment to new medication, mental illness, burnout, ageing, having a child. Accepting our limitations can be difficult, even more so if those around us don't understand our constraints.
Sometimes, all we have to offer is a smile or a compliment or a "good evening" or a "welcome to Canada." Other times, we can share something that brings us joy, like a pet. When we bring joy to others, we can't help but feel it ourselves.
2 Quotes From Others
Constructive worry is when you think about something that's upsetting you and you think of something you can do to change the situation for the better, then you stop thinking about it. That’s constructive. Destructive [worry] is you loop it over and over, and you just can’t think about it.
~ Daniel Goleman
The difficulty with perfectionists is if they become the head of something, they may view other people through the lens of perfectionism, which looks at what people do wrong, not what they do right.... [I]t’s a common problem we see in the workplace with leaders with that pattern. They were very good as individual contributors. That’s why they became a team leader or whatever. But once they lead, they don’t realize that they need to coach, that [they] need to see that people can improve.... The best leaders understand that part of their leadership is not just inspiring and guiding and motivating, but also helping people get better at what they’re doing. Not dismissing them, as "You’re not good at that."
~ Daniel Goleman
1 Question For You
Where are you in your life now? How do you live? What are you feeling, thinking, experiencing? What do you desire? What do you fear? Who do you value? Whom do you care about? What is the significance of the present moment in the context of your life? What is changing in your life? What is changing about you?
~ Tristine Rainer, The New Diary: How to use a journal for self-guidance and expanded creativity
