[2023-05-29] Friendship benches
Perhaps because my children are older and long past their school days, I had never heard of a "buddy bench" until today when I came across the term in a social media post. As per the Wikipedia entry:
A buddy bench or friendship bench is a seat in a school playground where a child can go when they want someone to talk to. Buddy benches may be distinctively different from other seating in the school and may be specially designed by an artist or with the help of the children themselves. They are sometimes rainbow-colored. Such benches are situated in open and well-traveled areas of the school so that any child using the bench will be noticed quickly.
A child feeling the need for a friend to talk to can sit on the buddy bench. Other children and staff will recognize this as a sign that some help, support or comfort is needed and will come to talk with the child.
The buddy bench is a means by which a child can seek support without the need to rationalize their feelings or to seek out a particular member of staff or special friend. Because the bench is in the day-to-day environment of the school it can be used at any time and for any reason—from seemingly trivial matters to more serious concerns—and encourages children to ask for help when they are troubled.
While researching the buddy bench, I came across a website on The Friendship Bench and the story of the inspiration for such benches: Canadian student Lucas Fiorella. Lucas' father, Sam, writes in a blog post:
In October 2014, I lost my son to suicide after a long and very secret battle with depression. So secret, in fact, that only he knew of his illness until the day of his death.
Upon his passing, Lucas’s peers shared countless stories of him initiating conversations, often with a just a simple "hello," at a moment of crisis that resulted in the prevention of a suicide attempt.
Inspired by these stories, we launched The Lucas Fiorella Friendship Bench and the #yellowisforhello campaign on April 21st, 2015, on what would have been Lucas’s 20th birthday.
The goal was simple – to inspire more of the peer-to-peer mental health conversations he started while he was alive, and to connect students suffering in silence with available on-campus and in-community resources.
According to the organization's website, since 2015, The Friendship Bench has implemented mental health programs for students in secondary schools, colleges and universities across Canada. More than 60 bright yellow friendship benches have been installed in seven provinces, helping to connect students to mental health resources on their campuses and in their communities. The organization's goal is to decrease the number of suicides and suicide attempts among Canadian students between the ages of 15 and 24.
Both the buddy bench and the friendship bench reminded me of the "chat benches" police set up in two parks in southwest England to combat loneliness among older people. The benches carry signs saying: "The 'Happy to Chat' Bench: Sit here if you don't mind someone stopping to say hello!"
I love these ideas for combating loneliness and supporting people who reach out for help. Perhaps you are already aware of such benches, while I'm only discovering them now. But I thought these ideas were worth sharing.
