[2023-06-12] The third place

This morning, I read a fascinating article by a man who emigrated to Canada with his wife in 2022. Wole Olayinka explains that a few months after he and his wife, Sandra, left their friends and family in Nigeria to seek a new life in Canada, they realized that they were living in a bubble. They had each other, but not really anyone else in their chosen city of Calgary. They felt a longing to belong.

Wole found his place to belong in Calgary's Central Library. He writes:

As I walked up to the help desk, the space felt alive, bustling with activities and brimming with people from all walks of life. It surprised me. I had expected a muted atmosphere, with a few people engaged in quiet, solitary pursuits.

As he became more familiar with the library, Wole started going there as often as three times a week, attracted by the change of scenery from his home office, the bright, open atmosphere with comfortable seating, the free Wi-Fi, and the opportunity for momentary distractions. He made friends with a fellow Nigerian after having heard the latter speak Yoruba. He helped a senior with a printer and ended up hearing all about the local history. He discussed the purpose of humans when he met a researcher searching for interview subjects. He states:

I loved the huge diversity of people all coming to access this free space for different reasons. And I am no longer anonymous. Now when I nod to the security officer who sometimes stands by the door, I see recognition in his eyes. I'm part of something.

Wole reports that his wife is finding her own way out of the bubble by getting involved with her church and connecting with people at her office—something not available to Wole, as he works remotely for a US-based firm.

The library became what Wole came to understand as "the third place"—a term coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg to describe settings that are neither home nor work. In his piece, Wole links to an article by Stuart M. Butler and Carmen Diaz, who describe "the third place" as locations where we can exchange ideas, enjoy a good time, and build relationships.

This got me thinking about the "third places" in my own community:
  • Bruce Pit — When we started taking our dog, Freddie, to the Bruce Pit dog park in 2007, we quickly found a community of people with similar interests. We got to know many fellow dog owners and they, us—watching our kids grow up and our dogs mature from puppies to seniors.
  • Dick Bell Park — When we got into Pokémon Go, we spent many evenings at the Dick Bell Park with other enthusiasts of the game, an eclectic mix of people of all ages collecting rare characters to add to their collections.
  • Walter Baker Park — In more recent years, as we've strolled through Walter Baker Park, we've seen large extended families enjoying food, conversation and the space for children to play. My own family organized a surprise birthday party there for my 55th birthday in 2021.
  • Rice Lake — The little bridge that overlooks Rice Lake (the pond beside Bruce Pit) is a natural congregation spot for bird watchers and nature lovers. Strangers readily share what they've seen or are hoping to see.
  • IKEA Café — In the past few weeks, Chris and I have been stopping by IKEA for a free coffee (a perk of being a member) and the relaxed atmosphere of the spacious café. We've seen groups of women chatting together and large gatherings of extended families at long tables.
Some locations on my list are conducive to random encounters among strangers. Others are ideal for family and friends to gather. All fit the definition of a "third place."

I was particularly interested in the potential for "third places" to address loneliness among older people. In their article, Butler and Diaz note:

The elderly are at particularly high risk of being cut off socially, and that is attracting the attention of third-place innovators. For instance, LeadingAge Maryland, a research and advocacy organization, is working with wellness agencies and architects to design senior housing within "common space" areas, situated near transportation, nonelderly housing, and other community partners such as universities and medical facilities. These efforts include cafe-style facilities targeted for seniors, but that are also attractive to the broader public. This is in stark contrast to the common pattern of creating self-segregated elderly enclaves, with elaborate services but little contact with the outside community.

Wole concludes his article with this: "But through the library, I've also learned how to make a place feel like home. This is home. Now I'm part of a microcosm of Calgary. I belong."