[2023-06-13] Breast surgery update
Today, I received a call out of the blue that I was not expecting—a call that left me feeling nervous all day.
The call was from the office of Dr. Erin Cordeiro, breast surgical oncologist at The Ottawa Hospital. Her assistant, Kate, called to offer me a date for my long-planned prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. I've been waiting for this date for 20 months, ever since October 2021 when I signed the final set of papers to proceed with the operation.
But once I got the call, all my fears, doubts and gloominess came flooding back. I fear the surgery, the pain and the recovery (estimated at 3-4 weeks). I second-guess myself on the choice to undergo preventive surgery. I wish that I didn't have to go through this at all.
But then I reread my post from June 2, 2021 (2b or not 2b), summarizing my first meeting with Dr. Cordeiro to discuss the options for reducing my risk of breast cancer. Because of the mutation in my BRCA2 gene, I am estimated to have a lifetime risk of developing breast cancer of 50-85%. The removal of almost all my breast tissue (what I called Option 2, with Option 1 being yearly monitoring) would lower my risk of breast cancer to 3-8%. Choosing immediate reconstruction with implants (what I called Option 2b) would mean, as Dr. Cordeiro put it, that I would go to sleep with breasts and wake up with breasts. Rereading my post reminded me of why I chose Option 2b in the first place.
The date that Kate proposed was July 7, 2023, the day after my 57th birthday. It's also the second day of Ottawa's 2023 RBC Bluesfest, a festival at which my husband and I have volunteered for many years. My participation this year seems doubtful. Coincidentally, we missed last year's Bluesfest because Chris developed COVID just days before the festival got under way. Sometimes life is like that.
I could choose to pass up the July 7 date and wait for the next opportunity for surgery, though no one can say exactly when that would be. However, I fear that I would simply be postponing the inevitable. There will always be some part of my life that will be affected by the timing of surgery, so why not simply get on with it? Plus, the surgery requires a recent mammogram and breast MRI (no longer than six months before). If I miss the July 7 date, I may need to redo these diagnostic tests (last done in March); I'd rather avoid that. Beyond both of these considerations is the possibility that I might develop breast cancer while waiting for the next surgery date to come up. That's not a risk I want to take, however small it might be.
I chatted about all of this with my daughter on our lunchtime walk. Her clear-eyed view of the situation was comforting. She reminded me that the surgery will greatly reduce my risk of breast cancer. She confirmed that I don't want to go through treatment for yet another cancer. She suggested that if I postpone the surgery, it will likely be scheduled at a time that interferes with something else that I had planned. And she told me that my proceeding with the surgery would make her proud.
Melanie's comments reminded me of the Toby Mac quote "What you are walking through at this moment may just be the story that helps get someone else through." Not only is having the surgery the right thing for me, but it will also enable me to better support others who walk this same path in the future.
Kate from Dr. Cordeiro's office was wonderful. She didn't rush the call. She didn't put me on the spot to decide in one minute. She allowed me the time to think out loud. Ultimately, I accepted the July 7 date, knowing that I could change my mind in a few hours or days, after having thought about it and talked to my family.
Writing my thoughts down this evening (after having spent the afternoon not wanting to think about the surgery) has helped me. Tonight, I'm telling myself three things:
- You have a chance to avoid cancer—take it!
- Health matters rarely occur at convenient moments—seize this opportunity!
- The sooner you get started, the sooner you'll be done—get on with it!
