[2023-06-27] A life well lived
This morning, I attended the funeral of the last remaining uncle on my mom's side of the family. He was a great man: patient, kind, quiet, generous, gentle. He was 97, much loved by his wife (my mom's eldest sister), eight children and their spouses, and numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren. I would spend a week every summer at my aunt and uncle's house, knocking about the city with their youngest daughter. I recall one summer—probably in 1978—when my uncle drove my cousin and me downtown to go see the movie Grease in the theatre.
It is a privilege to bear witness to the life of an honourable man, as I had an opportunity to do today. But there is also value in attending memorials to support the loved ones of the recently departed. It took me years to learn that we go to funerals for the family members and friends of the person who has gone. I've attended the funerals of people I've never met. But I knew someone who loved that person and going to the funeral was a way of saying "I care about you, your loved one mattered, you matter."
Today was my first opportunity in quite a few years to see my aunts and many cousins. I hadn't seen some since my brother's funeral in 2019 and others since my mom's 80th birthday celebration in 2018. Several told me that they are following my story through Jenesis. I wasn't as active on social media as I've become since posting links to my daily blog posts. As my relatives have followed my story, so too have I followed theirs. I love to see what they post and what they comment on. There's something special about cousins that I can't put into words. A familiarity that is born out of playing together as children. A familiarity that is never lost, despite the years, the distance and the busyness of life.
A common question at the reception following today's service was "what do you spend your time doing?" or "what are you doing in retirement?" I talked about taking walks with my husband and being available for my children and loved ones. In retrospect, I wasn't ready for the question. Later in the day, I thought of much better answers that I could have given. I write a blog that takes three to four hours every day. I go for walks with my husband and/or daughter, and I've recently started playing ping pong with my daughter. I cook and bake, and take care of my home. I spend time with family and friends. I'm learning Brazilian Portuguese.
But maybe the specifics were not important. Maybe the content of my response wasn't as significant as the way I delivered my answer. The question could just as easily have been, "Are you happy?" My answer to that question would have been an unequivocal yes. I traded a high-stress job for a simple, quiet life. I know what my priorities are—sleep, health, family, friends, writing, food, organizing, learning and peace. I am present for others more than I ever was while working full time. I am grateful for every day I have on this earth.
From my vantage point, my uncle lived a good life. He was loving and respectful, loved and respected. That was evident today.
Life, if well lived, is long enough.
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
