In connection with last night's post, a friend wrote to me to say that she and her mother had talked about some of the secrets to successful aging. These included maintaining interests outside the home and having a group of friends that one can stay socially active with. My friend acknowledged that many of her mom’s friends, whether widowed or still with their spouses, were starting to decline, in part because they had isolated themselves over the last several years.

This is perhaps one of the enduring problems of the pandemic. For some, social distancing led to social isolation, and the habit of remaining alone became entrenched. Moreover, community-based programs that existed before the pandemic, such as exercise classes for seniors, may have been slow to return.

The US National Institute on Aging explains in Loneliness and Social Isolation — Tips for Staying Connected that:

Those who find themselves unexpectedly isolated due to the illness of a loved one, separation from friends or family, loss of mobility, worsening vision or hearing problems, disability, or lack of mobility or access to transportation, are at particular risk of loneliness and social isolation.

The article goes on to define a number of characteristics that would put someone at greater risk of loneliness: they live alone; they can't leave their home; they've experienced a major loss or life change (such as the death of a partner or retirement); they lack money; they are caring for someone else; they are experiencing psychological or cognitive challenges (such as depression or dementia); they have limited social support; they have trouble hearing; they live in an isolated community; they have a language barrier. It's easy to understand why someone experiencing some or several of these circumstances might say, "It's just too much effort to connect with others."

The National Institute on Aging makes a number of concrete suggestions to help people stay connected, including:

You can also volunteer, join a cause or interact with a pet.

I love the idea of introducing yourself to your neighbours. The older I get, the more I spend time with the people who live close to me.

As I've written before, neighbours are an important source of friendship.

To the National Institute on Aging's list of risk factors for social isolation, I would add illness. It can be very difficult to go out or to have the energy to stay connected, even virtually, if we're dealing with a serious disease. That's why I'm so interested in the subject of loneliness, something I come back to again and again. While I was able to stay connected with people during my cancer treatment, not all cancer patients are as lucky.