Maybe it's a decision you have to make, some pros and cons you need to weigh, an action you must take. It needs to get done, but not necessarily today. In those cases, it's perfectly acceptable to take a break from thinking about an emotionally draining subject.

I've felt that on many days since my mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgeries. When I've needed to take action, such as prepare for and attend an appointment with my plastic surgeon, I've risen to the occasion. But when I've needed to do research or compare pros and cons in order to make a decision at some point in the future, I've sometimes said, "Not today."

For instance, after I wrote my post on breast reconstruction options three weeks ago, several women reached out to me and very kindly offered to share their own experience. I committed to following up with them. However, given that my surgery is months away, I wasn't pressed for time. For the past few weeks, taking a break from the subject has been more important than gathering more information. Nevertheless, one of the women who had reached out several weeks ago contacted me a few days ago to ask whether I still wanted to chat. That tipped the scales from Not Today to Today. We had our conversation yesterday, and it was wonderful. She was so balanced in telling her story. It gave me confidence in the decision I'm likely to make, and I felt reassured. I was tremendously grateful for her time and wisdom. Inspired by this conversation, I will follow up with the other women soon. I've just been taking a break.

I thought of this today when speaking with my son. A friend had reached out to me recently, looking for guidance. I had put her in touch with my son, who has faced challenges similar to hers. My son mentioned today that my friend had not yet responded to his follow-up. "That's understandable," I said. I explained to him that when we're struggling, we're often in one of four places:

And we can move between these places on any given day.

I have found myself in all four places over the course of dealing with various health challenges, and gave myself permission not to avoid dealing with something when I wasn't ready and when I had the luxury of time.

It's OK to feel paralyzed (as long as you don't stay there forever). It's OK to reach out when you're ready. It's OK to retrench when you just can't deal with an issue on any given day. And it's OK—in fact, more than OK—to do what you need to do to feel better and to have the courage to deal with the challenge before you.