[2023-12-01] The seemingly inconsequential

In 2015, the Association of Professional Executives (APEX) of the Public Service of Canada published Civility Matters!—a paper on how to cultivate a respectful federal public service. APEX had commissioned the paper to provide executives with information on incivility and tools to help them create a more respectful workplace.

I appreciated the paper then and still do now. One brilliant element of the document was author Craig Dowden's reference to the "seemingly inconsequential." A writer, speaker and coach with a PhD in psychology and concentration in business, Dowden defined incivility as "rude, insensitive, disrespectful, and thoughtless behavior" that is directed at individuals. But it was his further distinction that incivility is "seemingly inconsequential," making it difficult to identify, that I found especially compelling.

Dowden argued that "While more extreme forms of behaviour such as bullying, harassment, and discrimination receive most of the attention, subtler forms of disrespectful behaviour exact tremendous costs on individuals, teams, and organizations." He offered these examples:
  • Neglecting to turn off cell phones
  • Talking behind someone’s back
  • Doubting someone’s judgment
  • Paying little or no attention to an expressed opinion
  • Taking credit for someone else’s work or ideas
  • Making demeaning remarks
  • Blaming others rather than accepting responsibility
  • Checking email or texting messages during a meeting
  • Using email to send a difficult message to avoid facing the individual
  • Not saying "please" or "thank you"
  • Not listening during a meeting or conversation
  • Talking over or down to someone
Dowden noted that the less obvious words and actions characteristic of incivility can be just as harmful to employees as more extreme behaviours, and because of their subtlety, they are more commonplace.

I have often quoted Dowden's phrase "the seemingly inconsequential" to discuss subtle forms of incivility, which we can encounter anywhere, not just in the workplace. Disrespectful behaviour can be so understated that the recipient of such behaviour may struggle to put a finger on why an encounter has left them feeling unheard, unseen, attacked or dismissed.

Impacts of incivility

Dowden stated that "incivility affects individual, team and organizational performance in various ways." Research and surveys suggested that at least some victims of disrespectful behaviour:
  • Decrease their effort, including intentionally reducing the quality and quantity of work performed
  • Spend less time at the office as they seek to avoid the perpetrator of uncivil actions, leaving coworkers to pick up the slack
  • Worry about the incident and complain to others
  • Become less creative
  • Become less likely to help others
  • Suffer impacts on both their psychological and physical health
  • Take their frustrations out on clients
  • Lose commitment to the organization and are more likely to leave
  • Report lower levels of job satisfaction
  • Withdraw discretionary effort associated with going above and beyond
  • Try to get even with the perpetrator and/or the organization
Equally interesting was Dowden’s research-supported assertion that "the negative impacts of incivility are essentially the same, regardless of whether the individual was a witness or target of the behaviour." This makes the costs of disrespectful words and actions even higher than we might think.

Combatting incivility

Dowden offered a series of recommendations for executives and organizations to combat incivility.

Model positive behaviour
Dowden pointed out that "disrespectful behaviour of senior leaders can and does encourage the expression of similar behaviours in their direct reports." His advice:
  • Watch your language, citing a study that found that people exposed to rude language were more likely to interrupt others.
  • Put away your smartphone when meeting with employees—a simple act that increases trust.
  • Beware the perils of electronic communication; pick up the phone or meet face to face if you have any doubts about the way your message may be interpreted.
  • Reinforce expectations regarding civility both during the staffing process (including in reference checks) and orientation of new employees.
  • Make employees feel safe to provide honest feedback without fear of reprisal by approaching discussions with a desire to learn rather than to judge.
Gather feedback
Dowden noted that "we can be woefully unaware of how we are perceived by others." His advice:
  • Ask others for their honest appraisal of your words and actions.
  • Consider 360° feedback, which should be positioned as a developmental tool to help you with your professional growth.
  • Hold skip-level meetings (discussions with employees who report to managers under you), asking neutral, open-ended questions.
  • Track your progress, as well as that of the organization, by regularly seeking feedback through surveys, focus groups and online anonymous suggestion boxes.
  • Engage in proactive conversations with your team to define both respectful and disrespectful behaviour.
  • Conduct exit interviews to determine whether incivility played a role in employees’ decisions to leave.
Take action
Dowden stated that "when targets report negative behaviours to their supervisors, only 18% of leaders take positive steps to address the situation." In fact, "[m]ore commonly, the supervisor does nothing (40%) or their actions make the situation worse (42%)." His advice:
  • Take immediate corrective action to address the situation and to send a clear message about both your intention and that of the organization to deal with disrespectful behaviour.
  • Follow up with both the perpetrator and the target to clarify the response and the expectations, including consequences.
  • Take all complaints seriously, recognizing the tremendous effort it takes employees to come forward because of fear of retaliation.
  • Identify problem areas by investigating further when you see high levels of turnover in a work unit.
  • Raise awareness about the effects of incivility in the workplace.
  • Develop workplace civility policies, highlighting the consequences of failing to behave respectfully.
  • Pursue civility training both for yourself and your organization.
For my own part, I was guilty of some of the practices Dowden described as subtly disrespectful, especially having my phone at my side during meetings with staff, and responding to messages. And I didn't seek as much feedback from employees as I could have nor resolve conflicts as effectively as I would have hoped. But I tried to be respectful and to model civil behaviour.

Civility Matters remains an important document on respect in the workplace, helping to clarify what disrespectful behaviour is and offering suggestions on how to deal with it. For me, though, the takeaway is that while our words and actions can seem inconsequential, their impact can be much more than we imagine.