I recently heard a guest on a podcast say that her mother had never worked. Had I been the interviewer, I probably couldn't have stopped myself from saying, "You mean she worked in the home?"

It was in my fourth year of university, in a women's history class, when I first heard the distinction between someone who works in the home and someone who works outside the home. Stay-at-home parents, caregivers and others who manage a household but don't draw a paycheque often work just as hard as those who go off to a paid job, sometimes harder.

I continued to use this terminology when my husband started caring for our children in the home while I worked full-time outside the home. In the early days of our first-born's life, I worked the early shift (7:30 AM to 3:30 PM) so that Chris could go off to his part-time job in the evenings, from 5:00 to 9:00 PM. For years, we were like ships passing in the night, or—in our case—the afternoon. Though the arrangement had its challenges for Chris and me, for Shane and Mel, there was always a parent in the house. In fact, a friend once remarked to me: "Maybe your kids come home because there's always someone to come home to."

When Chris left his part-time job to start his own business in the home while continuing to look after our children, I could be more flexible in my work day. I started working longer hours outside the house. The higher I rose in my career, the more Chris took on at home: cooking, shopping, cleaning, taking the kids to school and appointments, caring for our pets, renovating various rooms. He would get up early to have breakfast on the table for me and the children, to pack our lunches, and to chauffeur us when needed. He made it possible for me, Shane and Mel to focus on our education (I took a two-year certificate program at the University of Ottawa midway through my career) and our careers. And he made it possible for us to come home each night to a warm house, a warm meal, and a tired and contented dog—where so many household chores had been taken care of during the day.

During the past three years, Chris' job responsibilities evolved to include caregiver and cancer patient chauffeur. It wasn't until I took medical leave from my job in 2020, retired in 2021 and recovered from treatment for two cancers and a bilateral mastectomy between 2020 and 2023 that I started to pick up more responsibilities at home.

Today, we are both retired and still working in the home.