[2024-01-03] The enthusiastic response
While we were doing dishes tonight, my daughter asked if I wanted to do a workout. "Sure," I replied, but not in the exuberant way I typically respond when she asks me if I want to go play table tennis, or partake in a taste-test of chocolates, or have coffee and a treat.
"Do you really want to do a workout?" Mel followed up. "Because that doesn't sound very convincing." She didn't want me to say yes, out of a sense of obligation.
My daughter knows me well. When she suggests an activity that wouldn't be my first choice, I might say, "We could do that" or "That's a possibility" so that I don't appear to be dismissing the idea out of hand. I might then offer an alternative in the hopes of arriving at a win-win option for both of us.
However, when I unequivocally want to do something that she puts forward, I will respond with absolute enthusiasm: "That sounds awesome! I love that idea! I'm in!" In written communication, I demonstrate eagerness with exclamation marks, emojis, and exuberant words, such as "awesome," "fantastic" and "yay!"
We've all experienced what I call "the soft yes"—an affirmative response that's so neutral and indifferent as to be interpreted as a "no" masquerading as a "yes." That's why I find enthusiastic responses so reassuring.
This isn't to say that I think people should respond with enthusiasm to an idea that they're just OK with. But I am suggesting that if they truly want to do something, they show some enthusiasm. This will counter any doubt in the mind of the asker of the recipient's true desires.
As it turns out, my daughter and I were able to go play table tennis this evening, which was a definite win-win option for both of us.
