In response to last night's post, which extolled the virtues of exposing our children to many activities, a reader wrote to thank me for the article. She said:

My daughter is 8.

I am a single mom, juggling it all. I often feel guilty when I hear about other kids who have been doing ballet for many years now, or piano… I feel guilty because I’ve taken a different approach – getting my kid exposed to different things and sometimes even cancelling an activity due to finances.

She’s doing soccer and drums now, whereas she did ballet and harp in the past… it just goes to show how their interests can change and allowing for that space has allowed her to explore a completely different activity. Stopping an activity due to costs (and having an age-appropriate conversation about it) also (I think) taught her a good life lesson.

So your post has helped me to think about this and feel less guilt. (Oh the mom guilt!!)

The mom guilt is real.

I acknowledged that both adults and children compare themselves to others. For example, I used to worry what my colleagues would think when they saw that I lived in a townhouse, even after I had become an assistant deputy minister. And my children used to think we were poor because we didn't have two cars or a pool, and we didn't go on trips to Disneyland. Instead, we lived—for the most part—on one salary, with one car, in a modest house that had a small backyard. Our summer vacations were to a family cottage.

But we always had a parent at home, delicious food, and every video game imaginable. And when the kids went to university, we had the funds to get them through school without their graduating with student debt. I had the time to devote to my career—not having to worry about meals, kids' appointments and taking care of the house. And though my salary rose over the years, we continued to live the same frugal way we had lived at the beginning of our life together as a family.

Our choices weren't better than anyone else's, just different. They worked for us.

I replied to the single mom to say:

I think you are doing the right thing—allowing your daughter to dabble in lots of activities while she searches for things that really appeal to her. Your approach reminds me of something James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) said about books: "A recipe for getting more out of what you read: Start more books. Quit most of them. Read the great ones twice." Applied to leisure activities, this idea could fit very nicely with your daughter's approach: pursue different activities over time, quit the ones that don't bring her joy, and do more of what makes her soul sing.

I could tell from the woman's email that she is a loving mom, and I applauded her for the effort it takes to raise a child on her own. I concluded my response with this:

Other families may have more tangible assets than yours, and your daughter may notice that. But you may have more fun, love and joy in your house. It's impossible to put a price tag on that.

I share this story tonight especially for all the single moms and dads who are struggling to do a whole lot of things: work outside the home, work inside the home, take kids to activities, help kids with their homework, sacrifice their own interests to give their time, energy and resources to their children. Being a single parent can take a toll on one's mental health. So in honour of Bell Let's Talk Day, I wanted to salute the single parents. I see you. I honour you. I applaud you.

And I leave you with a poem I've shared in the past by L.R. Knost, founder and director of a children’s rights advocacy and family consulting group and Editor-in-Chief of Holistic Parenting Magazine:

Life is amazing.

And then it’s awful.

And then it’s amazing again.

And in between the amazing and the awful

it’s ordinary and mundane and routine.

Breathe in the amazing,

hold on through the awful,

and relax and exhale during the ordinary.

That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing,

amazing, awful, ordinary life.

And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.