One of my favourite TED Talks is Rita Pierson: Every kid deserves a champion, billed as "A rousing call to educators to believe in their students and actually connect with them on a real, human, personal level."

A teacher for 40 years, Rita believes that the most influential teachers—the ones who make a difference—are those who connect with their students. She says that "no significant learning can occur without a significant relationship."

In her TED Talk, she shares this story:

— A colleague said to me one time, "They don’t pay me to like the kids. They pay me to teach a lesson. The kids should learn it. I should teach it. They should learn it. Case closed."

— Well I said to her, "You know, kids don’t learn from people they don’t like."

Rita's observation could apply in many situations: teaching, leading, parenting.

There is much we can take from Rita's stories, for example, how she provides feedback to her students. Rita describes her struggle with trying to raise students’ academic performance while simultaneously building their self-esteem. She recounts a story of one student who missed 18 of 20 questions on a quiz. Nevertheless, she wrote +2 on his paper and added a big smiley face. The student’s reaction:

— He said, "Miss Pierson, is this an F?"

— I said, "Yeah."

— He said, "Then why’d you put a smiley face?"

— I said, "'Cause you’re on the road. You got two right. You didn’t miss ’em all…. And when we review this, won’t you do better?"

— He said, "Yes ma’am. I can do better. You see -18 sucks all the life out of you. +2 says, 'I ain’t all bad.'"

What’s remarkable about this story is that the point was not lost on the student. He knew he had missed all but 2 answers. But he also held onto the fact that he wasn’t all bad and that he could do better the next time.

Leaders and parents face this challenge too: the best of them are able to find the delicate balance between providing constructive feedback, which many people take negatively, and building the person's self-confidence. It starts with focusing on what is good, for example, the partial victory that's better than no victory at all.

Another lesson we can take from Rita’s teaching style is the importance of setting a high standard and showing that we believe in those we lead or parent. Rita describes having had classes that were so academically deficient that she wondered how she was going to take her students from where they were to where they needed to be. One year, she told her students:

"You were chosen to be in my class because I am the best teacher and you are the best students. They put us all together so that we could show everybody else how to do it."

She gave her students this mantra:

"I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I’ll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go."

Thinking back on my academic life, I can’t recall many teachers who were such champions for their students. I had many good teachers, but the truly great ones, the ones who connected with their students, were rare. Mrs. Close in my elementary school was one of them. She exuded love and acceptance of every student. She kept the most rambunctious boys close to her desk and when they misbehaved, she said, "If you don’t cut that out, I’m going to box your ears." Of course, we all knew it was a hollow threat—a humorous way for her to say, "enough is enough."

Rita concludes her TED Talk with an inspiring call to action. With a few word changes, this quote could apply equally well to leaders and employees as well as to parents and children:

Teaching and learning [Leading and working] [Parenting and growing] should bring joy. How powerful would our world be if we had kids [employees] [children] who were not afraid to take risks, who were not afraid to think, and who had a champion? Every child [employee] [kid] deserves a champion: an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and who insists that they become the best that they can possibly be. Is this job tough? You betcha. Oh God, you betcha. But it is not impossible. We can do this. We’re educators [leaders] [parents]. We’re born to make a difference.

We can make a difference in the lives of others not only by being their champion but also by helping them to see and reach their full potential.

Everyone deserves a champion.