As I drove to the country yesterday, I listened to the episode of the BBC's Desert Island Discs with English actress Anne-Marie Duff.

Several times, I found myself saying, "Wow," marveling at the beautiful and poetic words Duff used to describe experiences in her life. Not surprisingly, she told host Kirsty Young:

If you take away all that we have—our clothes, our money, every single thing that we own—all we have are our words. Those are the gifts we give each other.

And Duff gives freely of her words in her half-hour interview.

In addition to her music teacher at school, in whose choir Duff learned she could really sing, she named two people who were incredibly influential in her career.

Duff credited her vocal teacher, a woman named Phyllis whom she found through the Yellow Pages, as convincing her to become an actor. Duff described "this tiny old woman who had a shawl" as embodying everything she imagined the world of theatre would be. Duff recounted this story of Phyllis:

She was phenomenal for me. I found it very difficult to get into drama school. And so I didn't get in the first time round. I reached a crossroads where I [said], "Well, maybe I’ll be a singer. That’s what I’ll do." And we talked about it in great depth. And she just looked at me and she said, "But I think you have the soul of an actor." And she was so extraordinary for me. I’ll just never forget her little blue eyes and how hard I worked with her.

And Duff credited a fellow cast member, Paterson Joseph, for keeping her in acting. While playing the lead role in Ibsen's play A Doll's House, Duff experienced stage fright, feeling that she was pushing herself unhealthily into the character of the suicidal Nora. She walked offstage in the middle of a performance. Standing in the wings was Joseph. Duff said:

Paterson Joseph—I thank him for my whole career really, because that's a long time ago—and he looked at me and he said exactly the right thing. He put his hands on my shoulders and he said, "Anne-Marie, there are 250 people out there who've paid a lot of money for their tickets." And, I just absolutely, at that moment, needed to hear something tangible and practical and kind. And so I turned around and walked back on stage. And there's a famous scene in A Doll's House where Nora eats a lot of macaroons, and I just lied and said to the audience, "I'm so sorry. I choked on one of the macaroons." Then we carried on the rest of the show, and I stayed being an actor.

Those words—"you have the soul of an actor" and "there are 250 people out there who've paid a lot of money for their tickets"—were gifts to Duff.

It's not just others who have bestowed the gift of words on Duff. When she experienced a particularly tough time in her life, she said to herself:

This is awful. I feel like I may die. However, I won't. Because there is more of me than I ever imagined there could be.

She also reminded herself:

Get your face out of the dirt and try to feel the sun on it.

This mantra reminded me of the opening of Maya Angelou's poem "Still I Rise":

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

And rise Duff did, becoming an accomplished actress in television, theatre and film.

But of all the noteworthy things Duff said in her Desert Island Discs interview, the one that touched me the most was her commentary on grief. Duff said that she had lost her dear friend Ally a few years before.

We just laughed all the time. She was just extraordinary. And I find, as time goes by, I think about her more and more. Grief is an interesting thing, you know. Because it comes visiting when it wants. It's servant to no man. And it absolutely forces you to confront its presence. "I am here. You will deal with me now." And I find that the gentle grieving of her is something that I just carry with me.

On hearing these words, I immediately thought of my brother. The phrase "gentle grieving...that I just carry with me" seemed fitting. Soft, tender, loving words.

I wanted to remember these words and to share their gift with you.