In his weekly newsletter issued today, James Clear quoted Gabriel García Márquez, who said:

What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.

I'm accustomed to reading and hearing the maxim that your experience of life depends on how you respond to what happens to you, reflected in quotes such as these:

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.

― Charles R. Swindoll

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.

― Anonymous

You are not the cause of everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to everything that happens to you.

― James Clear

But I can't recall ever having heard the idea that life is what you remember and how you remember it.

Similar to García Márquez, I often use the expression "the stories we tell ourselves"; I think of it as shorthand for the notion that the stories we craft from our experience and repeat often shape our view of our life—past and present—and our perception of our degree of influence over it. What we remember, as García Márquez says, and what we tell ourselves, as I would argue, has considerable influence over our day-to-day happiness.

I have a tendency to view my past through rose-coloured glasses, to recall challenges as perhaps easier then they were in reality (cancer being a good example), and to contemplate happy occasions more than sad stories. While I remember criticisms, I drown them out with recollections of praise. And, more often than not, I see myself as both responsible for and capable of influencing my future.

I've thought a lot about memories and stories in the past few years. When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2020, I didn't know whether I would be alive even a year later. This blog became about more than documenting my cancer journey; it became a place to write down stories for the benefit of my loved ones as well as anyone else reading along. Despite everything I've been through, I remember mostly the good: the family and friends who supported me, the healthcare professionals who treated me, the positive things that happened over the last 3½ years.

By and large, the story I tell myself is that I'm incredibly lucky.