[2024-06-18] Family history: courtship and marriage
This is the fifth installment in my series about conducting a life history interview with an older family member or friend. The series is based on William Fletcher's book Recording Your Family History. Previous posts in the series provided an introduction to recording your family history, questions to ask the interviewee about their grandparents, parents, siblings, questions pertaining to their childhood (birth to 11 or 12 years of age) and questions pertaining to their youth (adolescence through the teenage years and into the early twenties).
Today's post focuses on courtship and marriage.
Meeting your future partner
- Do you remember the first time you saw the person who would become your partner? The first time your eyes met?
- Do you remember the first time you talked to them? What did you talk about?
- What was your first impression of them?
- Did you experience love at first sight or did it take some time for your future partner to grow on you?
- What was the first thing you noticed about them?
- How long after your first meeting did you meet them again?
- What happened that time?
Dating
- What do you remember about your first date?
- How long did you date before your relationship got serious?
- Was there a specific point at which you realized that you were falling in love?
- What's the funniest story you remember about your courtship?
- Who proposed to whom and how?
Marriage (or living together)
- How long had you known each other before you got married (or started living together)?
- How long were you engaged before you got married?
- How did you know that your partner was the right person for you?
- What did you have in common?
- What qualities did they have that you found most attractive?
- When did you get married?
- How old were you? How old was your partner?
- What was your partner like: appearance, personality, sense of humour?
- How would you describe yourself at that time: appearance, personality, sense of humour?
Wedding
- Describe your wedding ceremony? Was it big or small?
- Where was the ceremony? The reception?
- How many guests were invited?
- Who was in your wedding party: best man, maid of honour?
- What did you wear? What did your partner wear?
- Did you experience any hiccups at the wedding?
- Were you nervous? Who was more nervous: you or your partner?
- What stood out for you at your wedding?
- What stood out for you at your reception?
- Did you receive any particularly memorable gifts?
Honeymoon
- Where did you go on your honeymoon?
- What's the funniest thing that happened on your honeymoon?
- What's the most memorable thing that happened on your honeymoon?
Newlyweds
- Where did you live after you got married?
- Can you describe the first place you lived?
- How did it feel to be a newlywed?
- What stands out in your mind about your first year together?
- Do you still have anything from when you first lived together?
- Do you remember what your household costs were (rent, food, car, etc.)?
- What was the hardest thing about adjusting to married life?
- What was the best thing about being married in your first year together?
Fletcher advises that "the first time you saw your spouse" is a must-ask question. He adds: "Almost everybody can tell you exactly when and where they first saw or met their spouse, can remember their first impressions, and can describe a certain 'spark'—something out of the ordinary—that first caught their attention."
