I did a lot of cooking today—some with my daughter, some with my husband, and some on my own.

When I cook, my husband often comes into the kitchen to see what I'm up to, clean up or contribute to the dinner prep. My daughter's time in the kitchen is usually more deliberate, focusing on a specific recipe that we have chosen to collaborate on or offering suggestions on what to make.

My time in the kitchen involves a mix of:

I was intrigued by the notion of parallel activity, and found this article on the subject: Why Therapists Say That ‘Being Alone Together’ (AKA Parallel Play) Can Majorly Strengthen Your Relationship. In the piece, psychotherapist Brooke Schwartz states:

In any healthy relationship, there’s room for both quality time spent together and separately. After all, each serves a distinct purpose, the former allowing you to bond with your partner and the latter ensuring you maintain your sense of self. But there’s also a kind of interaction that falls somewhere in between these two extremes—one that reflects a looser sort of connection than engaging in a shared activity, but that still underscores a foundation of closeness.

Parallel play encompasses that middle ground. By creating space for each of you to pursue your own interests while also appreciating each other’s company, parallel play "can facilitate both increased independence and closeness between partners," says psychotherapist Sarah E. Breen, LCSW.

There’s a certain kind of comfort in knowing that you’re free to do your own thing, but also, your partner is right there next to you, if you need or want anything; it’s not about ignoring each other so much as it is allowing room for solo pursuits with the option for you to engage intermittently. In this way, parallel play is a strategy couples can use to promote a predictable, nurturing environment and build secure attachment, or a way of relating to a partner that involves both healthy autonomy and the ability to count on others.

I believe that healthy relationships allow for quality time together doing things that make both people happy as well as separate time to pursue personal interests. The middle ground of parallel play is a third option that's worth including in the mix.