[2020-09-30] White space

One day, a professor gave her students a surprise test. When it was time to begin the test, she asked her students to turn over the sheet of paper she had placed face down in front of each of them.

The paper contained only a small black dot in the centre of the page. The professor said, "I want you to write what you see."

At the end of the class, the professor read out the answers. Without exception, all the students had described the black dot and its position in the middle of the page. "No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot."

The short video that presents this story argues that we take the same approach in our lives. We are surrounded by many awesome things and have countless wonderful things happen to us, represented by the white portion of the sheet.

But sometimes we take them for granted. We focus our attention and energy on small failures and disappointments, represented by the black dot on the sheet, such as relationship problems, financial challenges and health issues. The video recommends that we see the dark spots in our lives as small and few, focusing instead on the miracles in the white space: friends, jobs, love and family.

The video concludes with this message: "Enjoy each one of your blessings each moment that life gives you."

I received the video today from a friend, which was perfect timing, having just watched a video on chemotherapy treatment. Produced by The Ottawa Hospital, the chemo video described all the potential side effects of the treatment and what to do should the more serious ones occur. If those side effects were a black dot on a sheet of paper, I was left with a feeling that the dot filled the sheet.

In reality, all drug treatments have potential side effects, but those approved for use in Canada have been deemed by Health Canada to offer more benefits than harms.

Rather than fixate on how the chemo drugs could hurt me, I've decided to focus on how they will help me. I need to remember why I'm undergoing this treatment: to return to health, to fulfill my mission, and to have many more years with loved ones.

All of this is making me rethink my perspective on my chemo treatment tomorrow. Rather than see chemo as the black dot, I should see it as the white space working to shrink the black dot that is cancer. In the same way, surgery—which also had its challenges—helped to reduce my cancer.

A few other wonderful things appeared in my white space today:
  • As I was writing this post, I received an email from a colleague providing a gift certificate for the Red Apron, a local food preparation and delivery service. This thoughtful and generous gift is yet another outpouring of love from my work family.
  • This afternoon, I participated in a virtual baby shower for one of my employees. It was a welcome diversion and a magnificent opportunity to celebrate a colleague and the miracle of life. It was also my first Zoom call with members of my team in about two months. It was wonderful to see so many colleagues.
  • As I was finalizing the post, I received a card—the kind that comes in the mail and has hand-written notes in it—from a friend and her children. It said, "Count the really good blessings twice." Terrific advice.
  • Finally, yesterday's COVID test was negative. The results were posted in MyChart at 2:15 a.m., less than 24 hours after the test was administered. While I was pretty certain I didn't have COVID, the results were reassuring.
Over the course of today, as the white space grew, the black dot shrunk. I'm feeling more hopeful and positive and less apprehensive than I was earlier today.

On to chemotherapy.