[2020-12-15] Cancer and positive emotions
Today, I came across this quote by inspirational leader and coach Iyanla Vanzant: "When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else."
It reminded me of a conversation I had had with my sister the other day in which I expressed that one of the benefits of sharing my cancer story is that it can serve as an example of a different experience with the disease, one that is more positive than negative.
That's not to say that negative emotions don't have their place. In fact, two months ago, I wrote a post called Permission to feel all emotions. In it, I acknowledged that "my upbeat approach to cancer—no matter how sincere—may make others feel that they don't have permission to be sad or scared or stressed."
I then went on to discuss all the emotions that the Canadian Cancer Society indicates in Your emotions and cancer that a cancer patient could feel: shock, fear, denial, anger, guilt, anxiety and stress, loneliness and isolation, sadness, depression, and hope. Of the 10 emotions presented, only one—hope—is positive. But even that one comes with a caveat: "Hope is very important to many people with cancer and their loved ones, but it’s also important to keep a balance between realistic hope and false hope."
While I wouldn't discount any of the Canadian Cancer Society's 10 emotions, I would add a few of my own.
Gratitude
I am immensely grateful to the professionals in our healthcare system who are part of my treatment, among them oncologists, anesthesiologists, nurses, geneticists and diagnostic professionals. I am also grateful to family and friends who are supporting me and staying connected.
Pride
I am proud of every little victory, from doing two laps around the nurses station in the days following surgery to consistently walking 10,000 steps a day whenever I'm not recovering from chemotherapy.
Presence
I have never been so focused on the present and living each day to its fullest.
Happiness
As my treatment progresses and I begin to see positive outcomes (including that outstanding CA125 test result), I am happy even as I continue to go through the process.
Love
I am closer to my loved ones than I have ever been. While cancer creates uncertainty, it also serves as a reminder that we should never take our loved ones for granted and that we should appreciate their presence in our lives.
Optimism
I am optimistic about the future. That doesn't mean I have false hope. It simply means that I have chosen to expect the best rather than the worst. I'll continue to take that approach until I have information to the contrary.
Meaning
As Vanzant says, sharing your story heals you. This blog is giving me a purpose and allowing me to derive meaning out of cancer, including the knowledge that my writing is helping other people, and possibly even healing them.
So while I still believe it's appropriate to acknowledge the negative emotions that cancer patients and their loved ones may face, I'm increasingly of the view that the mostly positive story of how I am dealing with cancer is worthy of being told.
I'm not implying that everyone dealing with cancer should be perpetually upbeat. And I recognize that my physical response to cancer may be very different from that of other people facing different cancers or even the same one.
However, even if one other person facing cancer or a life-threatening disease concludes that they have permission to feel not only negative emotions but also positive ones, then my story will have served a purpose.
