[2022-02-09] Not the same after cancer
Every cancer story is unique. Some people have cancer once, undergo treatment, and go on to lead fulfilling lives beyond cancer. Other people have more than one cancer or experience cancer recurrence. And, sadly, some people die from the disease.
I would never want to suggest that my experience with cancer—both physically and mentally—is representative of everyone's experience with cancer. Equally, though, I bristle when I read something that suggests that everyone who has cancer will meet the same, hopeless fate.
Today, I was saddened to read a Facebook post that said, "With the side effects of chemo and radiation, you will never be 100% again because your immune system is weak." Though this may be true for some cancer patients, I do not believe it to be a universal truth. The Facebook post went on to say that cancer "Ruins marriages, families and relationships with friends. Because you're not the same again after cancer and treatments."
Without negating anything that this person believes, I wanted to share how cancer has impacted me and my relationships as a way of providing hope to people who might be at the beginning of their cancer journey and afraid that their lives will never be the same again.
Actually, the one thing I agree with the Facebook poster on is this statement: "you're not the same again after cancer and treatments."
In my case, I am more focused on my immediate family than I've ever been. I have deeper relationships with members of my extended family than before I got cancer. I have reconnected with friends from my past. I have met many people who have been inspired by my story. In short, my life is richer now than before cancer.
After going through surgery and chemotherapy for ovarian cancer, I regained my strength and felt like I could do as much post-treatment as I had done pre-treatment. I expect the same to be true after I recover from radiation to treat perianal skin cancer. I may not win an Olympic gold medal like Canada's Max Parrot, but I do think I will be able to do as much in the future as I did before cancer. If I do have enduring side effects, they will be a small price to pay for avoiding cancer in the future.
Weeks into my cancer journey, I wrote a post on What cancer cannot do. Even then, I felt that cancer had multiplied the love in my life, had helped me recognize my blessings, had enhanced my friendships and had given me a new way to be a light in the world. A year and a half later, this remains true. I cherish every day that I am on this earth.
We don't always hear the stories of people who thrive after dealing with cancer or who find greater meaning in their lives despite some new physical limitations. These stories are important. They give hope to others. I am lucky to have connected with a woman who had ovarian cancer years ago. Every day, she embraces life. Every day, she sees beauty in the world. Every day, she lives. I want to follow in her footsteps.
I'm not the same after cancer. I think I'm better.
