[2022-03-02] Practicing gratitude
It's been almost two months since my first radiation treatment, and just over four weeks since my last. Recovery continues to be a slow process and has been more painful and uncomfortable than I anticipated.
That's not to say that I haven't made progress. I have. My skin is healing. Previously open areas have been replaced by new pink skin. The itchiness has subsided, though it hasn't disappeared completely.
What remains problematic are functions associated with my bladder and bowel. It appears that I am healing externally but still have a ways to go before I will heal internally.
I'll admit to worrying that I'll suffer permanent side effects from radiation. That doesn't appear to be the way radiation works, but you can understand that I might wonder, from time to time.
For me, the side effects of chemotherapy were easier to manage than those associated with radiation. I was nauseated for up to five days after each chemo treatment, but otherwise was not in pain. Over my six sessions, therefore, I was sick for a total of 30 days.
By contrast, I have experienced pain from radiation every day for the past 46 days. And I still have not reached the surface yet, in other words, healed completely.
Compounding my glumness is everything going on in the world today. It's hard not to feel down when I read the stories coming out of Ukraine as well as the news in general.
But rather than dwell on the headlines or worry about how much longer it will take to recover, I am choosing to hold on to what I can control: my reactions, what I focus on, what media I consume (a new one for the list), how kind I am to myself, how often I practice gratitude, how much time I spend worrying, and how much I appreciate the things I have.
Under the spirit of practicing gratitude, I would express appreciation for my family (immediate and extended), my friends, my dog, my warm little home, my senses, Jenesis readers, modern medicine, Canada's healthcare system, nurses and other healthcare professionals, music, nature, technology, warm clothes, good food, the kindness of strangers, altruistic people and love.
