[2022-05-07] Interview with Diana
In advance of World Ovarian Cancer Day tomorrow, I had the honour and privilege to be a guest of Diana Ash on a Facebook Live event this morning. Like me, Diana is an ovarian cancer survivor and uses her various platforms to draw attention to the disease and its symptoms.
We talked about my cancer journey: my diagnosis of, treatment for and recovery from ovarian cancer and perianal skin cancer. My responses to Diana's excellent questions provide a very good summary of my story.
I've done quite a few interviews, videos and podcasts in the past eight months, and it's always fascinating to review what I said and what stood out for me. Here are some highlights from today's discussion.
"If there's a message I want my blog to communicate it's that you can go through cancer or another serious illness or something really hard and still enjoy life every single day." I added that even on the days when I was recovering from chemotherapy—which I called my pyjama days—I enjoyed something, such as a good book or a movie. I saw this quiet time as a gift. "Because you can be sure that if I were feeling 100%, I wouldn't be reading a book or watching a movie. I'd be working. I'd be doing something. I'd be washing the car." So a little forced down time for this self-described workaholic was not a bad thing.
(The car-washing example wasn't pulled out of the air, since that's exactly what I did yesterday. When I discovered that an entire bottle of hand soap had spilled in the back of the car, I figured that I might as well clean the entire vehicle.)
"Seeing the beauty in our everyday lives is another thing I think my blog shows." I told Diana that I often blog about subjects that have nothing to do with cancer. I reflect on the good in my life, such as a beautiful flower arrangement my daughter made for me for Mother's Day.
"Never once did I say to myself, 'Why me?' Never once." As I've expressed before, for me, cancer was just biology and something I had to go through. Asking "Why me?" would have served no purpose and would have only made me feel sorry for myself.
We talked about my recent post that you are the head of your medical team. I said to Diana: "You know your whole story. The medical system—I came to understand through cancer treatment—is highly specialized." I have interacted with innumerable doctors over the past two years, each dedicated to a specific field and therefore involved in only one aspect of my care.
This was Diana's experience as well. She too found that doctors were specialized and not necessarily well connected. As the head of our own medical team, she advised, we need to take ownership of our health. We need to play an active part in our care. We need to do our own research and ask questions. We need to attend appointments even if we're feeling well. "Prevention is key," she said.
Diana asked whether I had any regrets—anything I would have done differently. Her question reminded me of an episode of Glennon Doyle's podcast We Can Do Hard Things (Regret: What if we'd done things differently), which I listened to while on a walk the other day. It defined two types of regret: (1) The regret that comes from thinking we did harm to another person by something we did or didn't do. (2) The regret that comes from thinking that our lives would have been better if we had made a different decision in the past. Had I not had a successful outcome with my ovarian cancer treatment, I might have felt that I had made the wrong decision to accept the job of Assistant Deputy Minister of Communications in 2016. I might have thought that I should have stayed in a job that offered more work-life balance. "But now it's been close to two years since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and I feel like I'm living a great life. I'm retired. I have all the time in the world to spend with people I love, to do things I enjoy, to write, to have a purpose." This blog has given me such a purpose: to make other people's lives better, to raise awareness about ovarian cancer and its symptoms, and to communicate that you can still enjoy life even if you're diagnosed with cancer.
I was touched by the comments in response to the Facebook Live event, but one in particular stood out for me: "Illness, breakdowns in our lives are to reset. It's an opportunity if we can see it that way." I had never thought about the opportunity that a major event like cancer offers us to reset and redefine our lives. For me, that reset included choosing the leisurely path of retirement rather than a career treadmill, spending time with and serving my loved ones rather than my colleagues, and writing for myself and Jenesis readers rather than for all Canadians.
I invite you to watch Diana's interview with me.
