[2022-07-07] Empathy in the workplace
In response to last night's post, which included mention of having a positive attitude, a friend wrote to me today to say that if more people expressed a positive attitude, it would dramatically change the work environment. She expanded: "If people were focussed on the positive and on others, instead of on centering themselves and creating drama, our workplace would be transformed. So much of the diversity and inclusion work is attempting to make this change, and moves ever so slowly, but I wonder if the key is actually positive psychology and attitude really, and having an openness to learning." My friend asked me to share any thoughts I had about fostering a positive attitude among employees.
Having written frequently about respect in the workplace in my first blog, I turned to Café Jen for inspiration. I found an article I had published in November 2014 stating that empathy is the antidote to bullying and suggesting ways to enhance empathy in the workplace. This is an abridged version of that post.
Roman Krznaric, author of Empathy: A Handbook for Revolution says that programs that teach empathy in schools engender greater cooperation and sharing among the students and less bullying on the playground.
I was recently reminded of this when I read an article in The New York Times called Teaching Children Empathy. The article quotes Rick Weissbourd, the co-director of Harvard University’s Making Caring Common project, who argues that "Empathy is a function of both compassion and of seeing from another person’s perspective, and is the key to preventing bullying and other forms of cruelty." The Making Caring Common project aims to "strengthen the abilities of parents and caretakers, schools, and community members to develop caring, ethical children."
Weissbourd and his colleagues surveyed 10,000 middle school and high school students across the United States and interviewed hundreds of youth, parents, and teachers. What they found—succinctly presented in this infographic—surprised them:
- Youth appear to be more focused on success than concern for others.
- 80% of survey respondents said that achievement or happiness was their top priority, compared to 20% who said that caring for others was one of their primary concerns.
- 30% of respondents in middle school reported that they had been bullied, and more than 50% of girls in grades 7 to 12 reported that they had been sexually harassed in 2010-2011.
The study concluded that "A gap exists between what parents say are their top priorities for children, and what children perceive these priorities to be." While 96% of parents surveyed said that moral character in kids was very important, even essential, 81% of kids surveyed heard that happiness or achievement was what their parents valued most.
Parallels between school and work
As I often do, I wondered whether we could draw parallels between the world of parenting and the world of leadership. If empathy were the antidote to bullying, would the solutions parents could employ to teach empathy in their children be equally effective if used by managers to foster empathy among their employees?
I think they could. Below is advice to leaders for fostering empathy in their employees, based on the five suggestions Weissbourd offered The New York Times for developing empathy in children.
Empathize with your employees and model how to feel compassion for others.
It is often said that culture starts at the top. If your boss is caring, respectful and empathic, you and your colleagues are more likely to be the same. With a few adjustments, this quote from the Times article seems equally applicable to employees as children: "[Employees] develop these qualities by watching us and experiencing our empathy for them. When we show that we truly know our [employees] by understanding and reacting to their emotional needs, exhibiting interest and involvement in their lives, and respecting their personalities, they feel valued. [Employees] who feel valued are more likely to value others and demonstrate respect for their needs. When we treat other people like they matter, our [employees] notice, and are more likely to emulate our acts of caring and compassion."
Make caring for others a priority and set high ethical expectations.
Weissbourd recommends that we prioritize caring for others as much as achievement or happiness. Applying this philosophy in the workplace, managers might say to their employees, "how you work with others is as important as what you achieve." The manager or employee who delivers at the expense of others may be successful in the short run, but will ultimately damage the productivity of the team and hurt team members in the process.
Provide opportunities for employees to practise empathy.
Like other emotional skills, the article says, empathy requires repetition to become second nature. Leaders can foster empathy in their employees by asking them to listen to and respect others’ perspectives. They can also encourage staff to reflect on the experience of colleagues. From my own experience, one of the best ways to promote empathy among employees is by supporting storytelling and the exchange of information among teammates. This could be achieved through formal invitations to people with diverse backgrounds to share their stories at team gatherings or informally by encouraging employees to share something about themselves at team meetings. If done in a safe way, modeled by the leader, this can quickly increase empathy.
Expand your employees’ circle of concern.
Some managers may promote empathy among members of their immediate team but show a lack of empathy for employees in another unit. In the Public Service, this can be particularly the case when the other team is a corporate service provider or a central agency. When leaders fail to recognize the challenges that employees in other teams face, they may unwittingly decrease their own employees' empathy for others.
Help employees develop self-control and manage feelings effectively.
When employees are angry with each other, it can be difficult for them to be empathic. "Model conflict resolution and anger management in your own actions, and let your [employees] see you work through challenging feelings in your own life." Employees observe how leaders resolve their own conflicts; leaders need to ensure that their behaviour is something worth emulating.
The Times article concludes by asking what we could accomplish if the world were filled with caring, empathic children. I wonder what we could accomplish if our workplaces were filled with caring, empathic employees. More than a world without bullying, it would be a world where all employees are contributing to their full potential.
