[2022-12-09] Kindness and civility
Mel took the day off work today, and we made the most of it.
After breakfast, we drove to Bruce Pit for a walk. At the dog park, we walk quickly until we encounter a dog we want to meet (which is virtually every dog). Perhaps we should be wearing a sign similar to those on school buses: "This person stops for dogs." Some dogs want to meet us; others don't. We don't take it personally. Those that do often sidle into what we call the petting station. Today, one dog was particularly memorable: a gorgeous Samoyed, with a white fluffy coat. As the dog was enjoying a vigorous scratch from Mel, it let out a happy sound—like a mix of a growl and a howl. This made us laugh.
Next, we stopped at an Italian market. At one point, a woman tried to get by me in the narrow aisles. I was so focused on looking at the products on the shelf that I hadn't noticed her. I apologized for being in the way, and she proceeded to apologize for disturbing me. How Canadian! Or, perhaps, how Italian! Or, maybe, just how human!
Mel and I started to get hungry, so we headed to a burrito joint. The lineup wasn't too long when we arrived, only 3 or 4 people, the first two of whom were already being served. Unfortunately, the line moved very slowly. There were only two servers—an older woman and a young man—and it was late in the lunch rush. At one point, the woman said of the young man, "It's only his second shift, and he's doing an amazing job." I seconded this, saying to him, "You're doing a great job." When the customer in front of us was at the cash, she presented a coupon. The older woman stated, "Oh, I've never processed a coupon before, and my boss isn't here. This is only my third week." She managed to figure out the transaction, and was pleased with herself when she had succeeded. Though it took an uncharacteristic amount of time to get our burrito, Mel and I didn't mind. We weren't in a rush, and we were grateful that these two people had shown up and were managing to stay positive in the face of a lot of pressure. Equally remarkable is that there wasn't a single complaint from anyone in line.
Later in the day, Mel and I went to one of our favourite spots: The Owl Cafe and Meeting Place. I've sung their praises before and love their mission, which is posted on the wall of the cafe: "We are committed to serving quality food and drink while providing meaningful employment for individuals with autism on their journey towards independence. We invite you, our customers, to enjoy the journey with us." I ordered two decaf lattes—one with regular milk for me and one with oat milk for Mel. When the woman making our beverages asked whether we wanted cinnamon on them, I immediately responded no, forgetting that it's my husband who doesn't like cinnamon, not my daughter. Mel piped up and said, "I'll take cinnamon," to which the young man at the cash gave his emphatic approval. It was another moment of sweetness and humour in our day.
Our final stop of the day was a grocery store, where we picked up some roast chicken for sandwiches. When the young man behind the deli counter weighed the meat, he removed a slice from the pile and reweighed it. I concluded that he had exceeded the 400 grams I had requested and didn't want to give me more than I had ordered. I expected him to place the extra slice in the odds and ends container, but he put the slice back on my pile and placed the lot in a deli bag. When he handed me the cold cuts, I asked with a smile, "Did you give me a free slice of chicken?" He grinned and nodded. "Thank you," I said.
As we left the store, Mel spotted an elderly gentleman wearing a bright red sweater with white Christmas designs. "Love your sweater," she commented. The man, looking only slightly surprised, flashed a big smile and replied, "Thanks! Giant Tiger. $25." It was like he had scored a hat trick: great sweater, great price, great compliment.
My day with Mel was special for many reasons: getting to spend time with her, going to a number of favourite places, finding some Christmas presents we were both excited about. But it was also extraordinary because of the moments that might otherwise have felt ordinary. Kindness and civility are always welcome and always noteworthy.
