[2023-04-29] Saturday Synopsis #41
I met a friend today for breakfast. Over scones and tea, we talked about the challenges we have faced, are facing or expect to face in the future. I found myself drawing from my recent experience with cancer to share wisdom—some my own and some I received from other people. My recall was facilitated by my having documented the past almost three years in Jenesis.
Tonight, as I reviewed past posts to compile this week's Saturday Synopsis, I was reminded of the potential of meditation, the importance of paying attention to our self-talk, our capacity to influence our futures, the gift of being a human being, and the power of perspective.
3 Ideas From Me
I was inspired [to meditate], in part, by a comment in response to my post Being. A dear friend told me that, for years, she listened politely and smiled when people talked to her about mindfulness and meditation. It wasn't until three years after retirement, when she realized her nervous system was still in overdrive, that she discovered the power and quiet of living in and appreciating the moment. She confided that devoting just 12 minutes a day to meditation has changed her life and dramatically increased her ability to cope.
It is helpful to remember that self-doubt is rooted in fear: fear of failure, fear of being exposed as not up for the job, fear of disappointing others. A lack of confidence can be paralyzing. It can send you into an unending search for perfection, which can drive your employees crazy. So, whether you’re a new leader or an experienced manager heading up a new team or an employee trying to advance in your career, strive to boost your self-assurance. Pay attention to your self-talk, remind yourself of past successes, and stay in touch with people who know your work and believe in your competence.
I love the notion that we create our future. As Schaar suggests, first we dream our future, then we commit to it, then we take action to bring it into reality. The final outcome may not look exactly the way we imagined it. Sometimes, it falls short of our expectations; other times, it exceeds them.... Even now, as I deal with a disease over which I have very little control, I focus on the things over which I have influence. An example is the medication I'm taking. I might have shied away from taking the drug because of the side effects—both real and potential—but I chose to take it, on the belief that the benefits would outweigh the risks and that close monitoring would identify if the risks started to outstrip the benefits. While the path I'm on as I face ovarian cancer is not one of my choosing, the approach I am taking to walking that path—sharing my story to shed light on the disease and its symptoms for those who come after me, remaining positive and optimistic unless I have evidence to the contrary, and processing my emotions through daily writing—is one that is entirely of my choosing. This unexpected development in my life has changed me and, no doubt, my destination. My hope is that it will be for the better.
2 Quotes From Others
Let me tell the tale
Of a girl who didn't stop,
Who climbed up every mountain
Without a pause upon the top.
She'd dance until each blade of grass
Was clothed in drops of dew,
And the sun knew her by name
But the silver moon did too.
For a fear had settled in her bones;
A fear of sitting still,
That if you're not moving forward
It must mean you never will.
So in time her dance got slower
And she looked at all she'd seen,
But found gaps inside the places
That she'd never fully been,
For she was a human doing
Human moving, human seeing,
But she'd never taken time
To simply be a human being.
~ Erin Hanson
Scott Wittman likes to joke that, of all the comedy people he knows, and he knows many, I am "the only one who's truly laughing on the inside." But my upbeat nature is also a function of resilience: a firm belief in what I told my son Henry that night before Nancy died—that tough experiences Teflon-coat you and strengthen you against further adversity. This lesson is, I suppose, a major reason I wrote this book: because along the way I've picked up the wisdom that bad things happen, and yet the sun still comes up the next day, and it's up to you to carry on living your life and keeping your setbacks in perspective. You also have to understand that on some level, these horrible and sad things happen to everyone; the mark of a man is not just how he survives it all but also what wisdom he's gained from the experience. My cheerfulness on TV talk shows isn't faked, but it is also far from the product of a life gone perfectly.
~ Martin Short
1 Question For You
What do I need to do to take care of myself?
