[2023-05-21] The label avenger reappears
Tonight's post is the fourth installment in the Label Avenger's Chronicles. The previous installments were The label avenger, The label avenger strikes again and The label avenger returns.
The Label Avenger continues to post new notes—some in obvious places; others in less conspicuous places. In the latter case, we sometimes find them weeks after he's posted them. Clearly, the Label Avenger is a patient jester.
Most of our labels live on the inside of two cupboard doors in our kitchen. Occasionally my daughter will peruse the post-its and find a new one among the bunch. Such was the case with the label "I LOST MY MOMMY :(" which appeared at the top of one door. After some searching, we found "MOM" at the top of the other door. We have since united the pair.
Other labels that we discovered mixed in with the older ones (but, honestly, we love rereading them all) were JEEPERS CREEPERS (the Label Avenger must find this expression of mine odd or endearing) and UPSIDE DOWN LABEL (yes, it was upside down).
The label "IT'S NOT THE SAME BOY" made me laugh. The Label Avenger and I have an ongoing disagreement about the actor who plays the boy in IKEA's The Troll ad. I argued that it's the same actor who plays the boy in the Cadbury Dairy Milk Bus ad. In my defence, I submit Exhibit A, an article that references Finley Hanson as the boy in the IKEA ad, and Exhibit B, an announcement of the Cadbury ad as a finalist in an award category, listing Finley Hanson as the lead actor.
Other labels appear in covert places. For example, "LOST LABEL" surfaced on the inside of the stove hood, visible only when seated in a particular place and facing a certain direction. The Labeler's Apprentice (aka my daughter) created a companion note: "FOUND LABEL," which she posted on the bookshelf beside my husband's chair. The Labeler's Apprentice also likes to create humorous labels, such as "Cilantro (the most divisive herb)." She may have taken inspiration from a note she came across written in chalk on the sidewalk: "Wanna ruin dinner? Add Cilantro."
Also tucked away and not immediately apparent was "THE SAFE" label. "The Safe" is a shallow spot between the top of the microwave and the bottom of a cupboard, where we can slide in a flat container. This used to be a favourite hiding spot for home-baked cookies that my son preferred we kept out of sight (and therefore out of mind for him when he got hungry late at night). But since Shane has moved out, we haven't used The Safe as frequently. Nevertheless, the label was a good reminder of this out-of-the-way spot for tempting treats.
I found one label—"MYSTERY DING DING DING"— on the lid of an empty container on the counter. "What's this about?" I asked the Label Avenger. "You have to guess what we ding-ding-dinged," he replied. Ding-ding-ding is our family's way of celebrating occasions when we finish off a food item in the fridge or pantry, thereby limiting the amount of food we throw out. While the Label Avenger purports to hate labels (ironic, I know, given how many of them he creates), he seems to be in favour of avoiding food waste.
The final label in this installment of the Label Avenger's Chronicles also involves a story. One night, at around 2:00 AM, I made my way to the bathroom in the dark. The door was closed, but that's not uncommon. As I pushed it open, I heard my husband say, "I'm here." Though my brain registered the statement, I couldn't stop my body from propelling forward into the room, where I proceeded to stub Chris' toe and bop him on the head. "OUCH!" he cried. The next day, this label appeared on the bathroom door in response to the late-night incident: "SEATING CAPACITY ONE."
