When I was a kid, two of my mom's sisters, along with their husbands and children, would arrive, unannounced, on many a Sunday afternoon in the summer. Their green van and brown station wagon would drive up the dirt road leading to our farm, slow down at the gate and rumble into the yard.

So many kids would tumble out of the two vehicles that it was hard to imagine that they had all fit. My uncles would unload coolers of food. My aunts would warmly greet my mom (they seemed to be forever laughing). And we cousins would gather in small groups, according to gender and age. Despite its being summer on a farm, with plenty of room to play, my boy cousins would inevitably creep up on us girls. Whenever my female cousins would say to their brothers "enwoye," the French expression sounded—to my English ears—like the word "away."

This same group of relatives, along with a few of my mom's other siblings and their families, would also come on New Year's Day. Curious as to how that annual holiday gathering had begun, I asked my mom about it today. She explained that she and her siblings would often gather at their mother's place in Ottawa on New Year's Day. But after my grandmother died in 1976, one of my mom's sisters said to her, "We'll have nowhere to go this year." My mom said she replied, "Well, you can come here," meaning the farm. Thus began an annual tradition that would last more than 40 years.

My thoughts turned to cousins today after I read a CBC News story entitled Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood? In the article, writer Natalie Stechyson points to a kinship study published in the December issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA. Using demographic data for every country in the world, the study projected a 38% decline in living relatives when comparing someone in 2095 with someone in 1950. Stechyson writes:

A Canadian woman aged 35 would have had about 20 living cousins in 1950, while a woman the same age would have half that—10 living cousins—in 2020. By 2095, a Canadian woman aged 35 is projected to have just five living cousins, according to the data.

This is consistent with my own experience. While my maternal grandmother had 56 grandchildren, my mother has 8 grandchildren. So while I had 50 cousins on my mom's side of the family (56 minus me and my 5 siblings), my daughter has only 6 cousins on my side of the family (8 minus her and her brother).

The decline in the number of cousins reflects a decrease in birth rates, says Rania Tfaily, an associate professor in sociology at Carleton University. Quoted in the CBC article, Tfaily says, "However, what is striking nowadays is not just that the number of cousins is declining but also that an increasing number of children are growing up with no or very few cousins."

Stechyson references Statistics Canada data from the 2021 Census that found that one-child families are the most common type of family in Canada (45% of families with children). The next most common type of family is the two-child family (38%), followed by families of three or more children (16%). If the trend continues, says Yue Qian, an associate professor of sociology at the University of British Columbia, the children of parents from one-child families will have no cousins.

Stechyson writes:

Cousins take up an interesting space in many family dynamics—not quite siblings, not quite friends. Some people may grow up alongside their cousins and have a deep bond and others may rarely see them or speak to them at all. Yet experts agree the role can be an important one.

The vast majority of my 50 cousins are still alive today. Though I know some more than others, I have found that since starting this blog I have connected with more of them. As I wrote in A life well lived, cousins are familiar:

Today was my first opportunity in quite a few years to see my aunts and many cousins. I hadn't seen some since my brother's funeral in 2019 and others since my mom's 80th birthday celebration in 2018. Several told me that they are following my story through Jenesis. I wasn't as active on social media as I've become since posting links to my daily blog posts. As my relatives have followed my story, so too have I followed theirs. I love to see what they post and what they comment on. There's something special about cousins that I can't put into words. A familiarity that is born out of playing together as children. A familiarity that is never lost, despite the years, the distance and the busyness of life.

In the title of her article, Stechyson asks whether the disappearance of cousins is reshaping the experience of childhood. In reality, we don't know what we don't know. For example, my daughter grew up with just 6 cousins but knows every one by name—the age difference between the oldest and youngest cousins being 7 years. In comparison, I grew up with 50 cousins, but couldn't name all of them—the age difference between the oldest and youngest cousins being 26 years.

In concluding her article, Stechyson quotes Professor Qian who says that we don't have to define family based only on blood ties. Qian says, "If our society and culture celebrate and value developing close friendships and communities and building family we choose to a greater extent, we may not need to worry about a cousin decline so much."

Nevertheless, I found myself feeling nostalgic today, reliving in my mind the summer visits with one of my cousins, when we would spend a week in the city at her house and a week in the country at mine. I remember the family reunion my family hosted in 1992 with many of my mom's siblings, their spouses, their children and grandchildren. I recall the 2005 gathering of the Pagé family (my mom's family) at the 150th anniversary of the Paroisse Ste-Félicité in Clarence Creek. I smile when I think of the surprise party we organized for my mom's 80th birthday in 2018. And I remember, with mixed feelings, all the weddings and funerals we attended over the years, where we saw that considerable congregation of cousins.

I'm glad that I have so many cousins. I have appreciated every like, cheer and best wishes so many of you have extended in the last 3½ years.