Today, I chatted with a friend about work and career.

In the course of our conversation—which included a discussion of leadership styles and how they had evolved over my more than 30 years in the Canadian Public Service—I shared one story about a boss who had had a significant, positive effect on me.

When I was a new director, not yet 30, I inherited a conflict between two employees in my division. Just two months into the job, I needed to take disciplinary action in relation to one employee for an incident that had preceded my time as director. After doing my due diligence but before finalizing my decision, I met with my boss. He told me: "I'm going to give you some advice on what I would do if I were in your place. But I want you to decide how to move forward. And I don't even want you to tell me what your choice is."

This was a remarkable statement. I had the benefit of my boss' advice coupled with his vote of confidence that my choice would be right, whether it was the same as or different from his. I felt neither under-supported nor over-pressured. I left his office feeling encouraged and self-assured.

I did end up taking a different approach from the one my boss had recommended, largely because I had more information than he did. That's not surprising, given that it was my responsibility to assess the situation, seek advice from human resources, and decide on a way forward that I believed would have the best possible outcome.

As I talked with my friend today, I noted that many of my most influential bosses were men. That's partly a function of their greater number—most of my bosses were men—but also a function of my good fortune to work for men who valued women and who embraced leadership styles based on empathy and humanity. The majority of my bosses, both men and women, modeled characteristics of what I view as a true leader, such as building relationships, creating psychological safety, listening, celebrating others and being respectful.