[2022-08-03] Live with love
Six years ago, I came across a tweet by writer and entrepreneur Murray Newlands of six rules to a better life:
- Be self aware.
- Live simply.
- Expect little.
- Give a lot.
- Live with love.
- Never hate.
I was particularly taken with the fifth idea. I repeated "Live with love" for the subsequent few days whenever I faced a stressful situation or person. But like so many great ideas I encountered, I quickly forgot the mantra to "Live with love."
Newlands didn't expand on what it means to live with love (understandable given the character limit of Twitter), so I thought I'd take a crack at explaining my interpretation of this principle. For me, living with love means:
- Empathizing—considering where someone else may be coming from.
- Performing an MRI (most respectful interpretation) to view someone else's behaviour in the most favourable light.
- Accepting (rather than judging).
- Being grateful for what you get from another person (rather than resentful for what you don't).
- Showing appreciation—saying thank you.
- Letting inconsequential things go (aka picking your battles, aka not sweating the small stuff).
- Being gentle when you address an issue.
- Forgiving—both the other person and yourself when necessary.
- Being present and being patient.
- Keeping your promises and following through on commitments.
- Letting go of fears and trusting that everything will work out.
Living with love doesn't mean accepting the unacceptable. It can mean setting boundaries to preserve a relationship. And if a relationship is not healthy for you, walking away is still living with love—it's loving yourself.
Most of the time, however, we are in relationships with good people who are doing their best—just like us.
