[2023-08-05] Knitted knockers, bandages and Saturday Synopsis #55
Knitted knockers
In response to last night's post, a friend sent me information on knitted knockers (she said I could google knitted or crocheted knockers, breasts, boobs or breast prostheses). Like so many things in life that I am unaware of until I need them myself, I had never heard of knitted knockers.
I googled the term and landed on KnittedKnockers.Org. The site is filled with helpful, inspiring information. A short video (3:43)—Knitted Knockers - How they work and who they work for—is a great place to start to understand how they are made and used. Knitted Knockers founder Barbara Demorest explains that the size and shape of the knocker can be changed simply by adding or removing stuffing (which looks like cotton batting).
A slightly longer video (6:55)—The Woman Behind KnittedKnockers.Org—tells Barbara's story: her diagnosis with breast cancer, her single mastectomy and the devastating realization that she could not be fitted for a prosthetic for six weeks after her surgery. "That's the first time I cried," she says "out of the whole time." When she went to her doctor, he asked if she were a knitter and offered her a pattern for a knitted knocker, an alternative to a breast prosthetic that's handmade. Barbara latched onto the idea and called her friend, who offered to make one for her. "It was perfect. It was light. It was soft. It was pretty. And it worked in my bra wonderfully.... It just changed everything." She made it her mission to connect knitters with breast cancer survivors so that the latter could have free knitted knockers. Her vision was for community groups to provide knitted knockers to breast cancer survivors in their area. In the video, breast surgeon Dr. Cary Kaufman says that silicon breast prostheses don't work for everyone: they are expensive, can require special bras, are heavy and can feel hot. Knitted knockers, on the other hand, are light (like "air" as opposed to a "water balloon") and can be worn with a regular bra.
The site offers different patterns—their traditional magic loop pattern and their more recent, easier-to-knit bottoms-up pattern—as well as a list of approved yarns. The chosen yarn needs to be soft enough to wear against sensitive skin and to remain soft after being washed.
I sent this information to my mom, an accomplished knitter and all-around crafty person. I can't wait to see what she comes back with. And if there are any knitters among Jenesis readers who want to give it a go, feel free.
The friend who sent me the idea for knitted knockers concluded her message with this: "And once your reconstruction is finally complete you can have a boobie fight. It’s like flinging stress balls around." Until that day, I look forward to wearing a pretty knitted knocker.
Bandages
Today, I took the bandages off my wounded breast (though not the steristrips, which are to remain in place until they fall off on their own). I thought that this would be a traumatic moment, but it wasn't. My right breast looked like a deflated balloon.
I once again thought of Eeyore. For the donkey's birthday, Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet decided to give him presents. Pooh chose a small jar of honey and Piglet settled on a balloon left over from a recent party. Unfortunately, Pooh ate all the honey in his jar before arriving at Eeyore's and Piglet fell en route to Eeyore's, bursting the balloon. Piglet said to himself: "Well, it's too late now. I can't go back, and I haven't another balloon, and perhaps Eeyore doesn't like balloons so very much." So he continued on to Eeyore's house and offered the donkey his humble present, to which Eeyore responded:
— "Balloon?" said Eeyore. "You did say balloon? One of those big coloured things you blow up? Gaiety, song-and-dance, here we are and there we are?"
— "Yes, but I'm afraid—I'm very sorry, Eeyore—but when I was running along to bring it to you, I fell down."
— "Dear, dear, how unlucky! You ran too fast, I expect. You didn't hurt yourself, Little Piglet?"
— "No, but I—I—oh, Eeyore, I burst the balloon!" There was a very long silence.
— "My balloon?" said Eeyore at last. Piglet nodded.
— "My birthday balloon?"
— "Yes, Eeyore," said Piglet sniffing a little. "Here it is. With—with many happy returns of the day." And he gave Eeyore the small piece of damp rag.
— "Is this it?" said Eeyore, a little surprised. Piglet nodded.
— "My present?" Piglet nodded again.
— "The balloon?"
— "Yes."
— "Thank you, Piglet," said Eeyore. "You don't mind my asking," he went on, "but what colour was this balloon when it—when it was a balloon?"
— "Red."
— "I just wondered.... Red," he murmured to himself. "My favourite colour.... How big was it?"
— "About as big as me."
— "I just wondered.... About as big as Piglet," he said to himself sadly. "My favourite size. Well, well."
At this point, Pooh arrived with his empty jar of honey, and announced to Eeyore:
— "It's a Useful Pot," said Pooh. "Here it is. And it's got 'A Very Happy Birthday with love from Pooh' written on it. That's what all that writing is. And it's for putting things in. There!"
— When Eeyore saw the pot, he became quite excited. "Why!" he said. "I believe my Balloon will just go into that Pot!"
— "Oh, no, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Balloons are much too big to go into Pots. What you do with a balloon is, you hold the balloon——"
— "Not mine," said Eeyore proudly. "Look, Piglet!" And as Piglet looked sorrowfully round, Eeyore picked the balloon up with his teeth, and placed it carefully in the pot; picked it out and put it on the ground; and then picked it up again and put it carefully back.
— "So it does!" said Pooh. "It goes in!"
— "So it does!" said Piglet. "And it comes out!"
— "Doesn't it?" said Eeyore. "It goes in and out like anything."
— "I'm very glad," said Pooh happily, "that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot to put things in."
— "I'm very glad," said Piglet happily, "that I thought of giving you Something to put in a Useful Pot." But Eeyore wasn't listening. He was taking the balloon out, and putting it back again, as happy as could be....
Eeyore loved his presents, including his deflated balloon.
I, too, can love my deflated breast. My cancer-free, deflated breast. My my-kids-need-me-more-than-I-need-breasts deflated breast.
After I removed my bandages, I took a restorative shower. As I toweled off, I noticed all the scars on my body from my hysterectomy, from the drains that protruded from my body after my bilateral mastectomy, and from the removal of my right implant. I reminded myself that my family and friends love the person I am on the inside, not the person I am on the outside.
And I love the person I am on the inside. Every external scar and every hurdle surmounted have created greater internal strength, greater compassion for others, greater wisdom. I survived ovarian cancer. I survived chemotherapy. I survived perianal skin cancer. I survived radiation. I got ahead of breast cancer.
And through it all, I loved, laughed, baked, wrote, shared, learned, lived and helped. Every day, there is something to be grateful for. I am here.
Saturday Synopsis #55
A friend asked for a photo of me and my husband in honour of our third anniversary yesterday.
3 Ideas From Me
I am fortunate to have rarely felt only fear. The most notable exception was learning that I had ovarian cancer. And though I could not know it at the time, my year of dealing with cancer has brought a lot of joy, more than you might expect for someone facing a life-threatening illness. I found joy in supportive healthcare professionals, in every little victory and every shred of good news, and in the kindness and generosity of family, friends and strangers.
I'm reminded of something that a consultant said to me a dozen years ago: when our extending ourselves is driven by love or passion, the work energizes us, but when the effort is driven by fear—fear of not measuring up or of disappointing someone—then the work can lead to burnout. Our motivation for overwork can be the difference between exhilaration and exhaustion, she added.
I used to work with a woman who arranged office moves for our branch. The day after each move, one or more employees would inevitably go to my colleague with concerns about the new setup. She would say "give it a week, then come see me if you're still having issues." The reluctant movers rarely returned. They adapted, or discovered that the new setup had its advantages.... [T]he idea of giving something a shot and allowing time to get used to the new reality is worth a try, no matter what the change.
2 Quotes From Others
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
~ John Burroughs
When you come across something that you cannot part with, think carefully about its true purpose in your life. You’ll be surprised at how many of the things you possess have already fulfilled their role. By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to truly put the things you own, and your life, in order. In the end, all that will remain are the things that you really treasure. To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.
~ Marie Kondo
1 Question for You
What we learned in the past and what we're struggling with today might be the basis for something wonderful in the future.
What is something you learned in the past, perhaps even struggled with, that positioned you well for the present?
