[2024-02-09] The label avenger resurfaces
Tonight's post is the fifth installment in the Label Avenger's Chronicles. The previous installments were The label avenger, The label avenger strikes again, The label avenger returns and The label avenger reappears.
The Label Avenger has resurfaced. Since the last edition of the Label Avenger's Chronicles, I've been quietly collecting evidence to demonstrate that he has not retired.
I found the first proof of this theory on a bottle of mulled fruit and spice drink. Sorry IKEA, but the Label Avenger thinks your Glogg TASTES LIKE BUCKLEY'S.
The next batch of stickies appeared randomly:
- HAVE YOU HUGGED A LABEL AVENGER TODAY? — Why no, I haven't!
- MACHO MACHO TRUCK — I believe that the Label Avenger has a love-hate relationship with trucks that have fat tires.
- NIEH! — I'm not sure what the Label Avenger is driving at with this sticker, but Urban Dictionary says "Nieh is the sound young male adults make when they’ve experienced some form of gratification." Perhaps it's a shortened and translated form of the Three Stooges' NYUK, NYUK, NYUK.
- ANYONE HOME? — Maybe the Label Avenger is feeling lonely or unappreciated.
Occasionally, the Label Avenger's tags travel outside the home. One label appeared under a container my daughter had taken to the office. The note BUTKUS (presumably, and inexplicably, referring to Chicago Bears linebacker Dick Butkus) became visible only after she had taken her bagel out of the container for lunch.
Sometimes the Label Avenger's notes are utilitarian, such as his helpful sign JUG on an empty maple syrup container. Other times, the Label Avenger is complimentary, leaving a WOW sticky in the fridge the day I washed and organized it.
But perhaps the best label is the one that appeared on my husband just the other day. To ensure no confusion, the Label Avenger identified him with the tag HUSBAND. Perhaps Chris would have me believe that he's not the Label Avenger. If that's the case, I have just one question: why is my husband holding a Sharpie?
