[2022-04-10] Siblings Day
It's Siblings Day—a day that recognizes the bond between sisters and brothers.
I feel very lucky to have siblings. I grew up with four brothers and one sister. I always took comfort in knowing that if I needed help, one or more of my siblings would be there. In honour of this day, I'm sharing a few photos—some old, some more recent—and one thing I learned from each of my siblings.
Tim
Like me, my brother Tim is a maven. According to author Malcolm Gladwell, a maven is someone who accumulates and shares knowledge. For example, when I was a kid, Tim taught me how to add and subtract negative numbers, such as (-2) + (-2). He showed me a trick, which was so much easier to grasp than what my teacher had tried to explain, and I never struggled with the concept again. From Tim, I learned that it's never too late to build a bond with a sibling. In fact, it becomes easier as you age. Differences in interests as children disappear as we age.
Kathleen
I have a special relationship with my sister. Kathleen is a generous, loving and funny person. I have benefited from her kindness and caring, particularly since my cancer diagnosis, and I have welcomed her humour, especially as I've gone through cancer treatment. For instance, when I wrote my post Little victories, about the progress I was making while recovering in the hospital from my hysterectomy, Kathleen sent me a hilarious text, poking fun at me. That inspired me to write Little victories revisited, a tongue-in-cheek reflection on my hospital stay. Kathleen is also the author of the term "hairy bear"—telling me that my description of losing my hair because of chemotherapy sounded like I was taking a shower with a hairy bear. Whenever I think of that expression, I laugh. From Kathleen, I learned that we can go through hard things and still find humour, meaning and humanity in the midst of challenges.
Greg
My brother Greg, whom we lost in 2019, was the kind of brother you could always count on when you were stuck. At my sister's wedding reception, I realized that I had forgotten something at the church, which was almost 30 km away. Rather than simply wait for another day to retrieve what I had left behind, I convinced Greg to leave the reception, drive me back to the church, and then return to the reception—a one-hour round trip. On another occasion, Greg had wanted to treat the family to a special Christmas dinner, so the two of us went shopping, picking up food for the meal, including a very large, very expensive ham, all of which he paid for. From Greg, I learned the value of generosity and selflessness.
Ben
When I think of my brother Ben, I smile, recalling funny moments in our lives. One that comes to mind occurred when we were in high school. In those days, if you were absent from school, you needed a note, signed by a parent. Well, my mother wasn't interested in writing notes for us to explain why we weren't in school, so—with her permission—we wrote our own notes. One morning, while I waited in line to present my absence note to the vice-principal, Ben joined the line immediately behind me. I feared that the vice-principal might look at the two notes from "Olivette Hollington" in completely different handwriting, presented one right after the other, and the jig would be up. To avert misfortune, I turned to Ben and told him to move further down the line so that our deception wouldn't be so obvious. Another thing that comes to mind when I think about Ben is that he was both a critic and a complimenter of the food I made. One day, he was criticizing the cookies I baked, while the next day, he was telling me that I should open a restaurant. From Ben, I learned to take criticism, not crumble, and to use it to improve.
Bryan
Of all my brothers, I'm probably closest to Bryan. I think that's because he's my only younger sibling, and I always looked out for him. When we were students in elementary school, if he lost his mittens, I would give him a pair of mine. When I was 12 and he was 9, we spent the summer at home alone, while my mom and other siblings worked. I remember sitting on the front lawn with Bryan, cutting up apples for the two of us, while we imagined pictures in the clouds. When I was in my fourth year of university and Bryan was in his first year of college, we shared an apartment. We continued to live together when Chris and I were a couple with a baby. When my son would cry in his crib, Bryan would pick Shane up and bring him to me, which was less about his being altruistic and more about his not wanting to hear a crying baby. From Bryan, I learned that you can't change others, nor should you try. You can change only yourself.
Siblings are irreplaceable. As I thank my siblings for their ongoing support, wit and affection, may you thank yours.
