[2023-05-27] Saturday Synopsis #45
Today, while waiting in the self-checkout line at the grocery store, I struck up a conversation with the couple behind me. The husband was holding two large boxes of mangoes.
— "Do you mind my asking what you're going to do with those?" I asked. I'm always looking for inspiration for something new to cook, and I thought he might tell me about some exotic mango salsa that he makes.
— "Just eat them," he replied.
— "Do you ever make something with them?"
— "Occasionally, but we mostly eat them as is." He went on to explain that he buys a large box of mangoes for $9. One box was destined for his mother and the other for his sister.
— "I never buy the regular mangoes," I said. "I always buy the Ataulfo mangoes because it's easier for me to know when they're ripe." The couple insisted that the regular mangoes were tastier than the Ataulfo mangoes. They went on to explain how to tell when a mango is ripe.
— "When the mango gets moist at its stem, like juice is coming out of it, it's very ripe and ready to eat," the wife advised.
— "Thanks!" I replied. "I'll have to try the regular mangoes."
— At that point, the husband reached into one of the boxes and said, "Here, take one!" I was thrilled. What a beautiful conclusion to our conversation. I would describe that conversation as a "moment between moments"—a brief occurrence in my day that left me smiling and feeling grateful.
3 Ideas From Me
Time spent chauffeuring kids is an example of an ordinary moment. Holiday says, "I’ve never understood parents who complain about 'being a chauffeur' to their kids." While he acknowledges that it can be a pain to drive your kid to daycare, school, an appointment or a friend's house, he suggests, "instead of seeing the drive as an obligation or an inconvenience, why not choose to see it as a gift? A moment between moments." ... Something special happens when parents and children spend time together in vehicles, says Holiday. "Kids will share things in the car they wouldn’t say anywhere else. Better yet, when their friends are in the car too, you fade into the background and suddenly you can watch how your kid is with other people." What a positive way to view the time spent shuttling kids around.
I believe that leadership is exercised in countless small ways. It's inviting a young person to take a place at the table. It's showing confidence in someone's ability to make the right decision. It's providing feedback on an employee's work and how it was received by senior managers. It's seeking input from all team members. It's smiling at an employee and listening intently while they present to a group of executives. It's learning, correctly pronouncing and regularly using others' names. It's taking time to say hello and to acknowledge staff. It's passing along compliments but also asking for permission to provide constructive feedback. It's taking junior employees along to meetings with senior colleagues.
Be gentle with your feedback. A friend shared a cute story today. She made a new dish for supper one night and asked her partner what he thought of it. He replied: "Well, if you were to lose this recipe, I wouldn't go looking for it." My friend thought that was funny, as did I. In our family, when someone makes a new recipe that's not a keeper, we say: "It's very well made," which means "your effort is appreciated, but you needn't make it again on my account."
2 Quotes From Others
If you want love, be love; invite it in by offering it to others. If you seek joy, be joy; act in a way that is joyful, and allow others to experience it alongside you. Be what you hope for; allow whatever is on the inside to be how you love on the outside.
~ Cyndie Spiegel
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world.
Fred Rogers
1 Question For You
Would we make a greater effort to improve someone's life if we knew the positive impact we would have? Would we take that extra helpful step if we knew just how much another person needed it?
