I spent another quiet day at home, recuperating from my recent COVID and flu shots.

Another friend, inspired by my post Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, shared that she—who has faced her own challenges in life—continues to be guided by Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night. Sometimes the role we think we were supposed to fulfill is not the one we are able to play. As my friend said, we must surrender one identity to take on a new one and, in doing so, find new ways of making a contribution. There is fierce determination in the final lines of Thomas' poem: "Do not go gentle into that good night. / Rage, rage against the dying of the light." This poem reminds me to make every day count.

As Natalie Goldberg said in Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, "Writing can teach us the dignity of speaking the truth." There is dignity in honestly reflecting what one is thinking and feeling, especially when documenting a story in all its colours.

I was recently inspired by a passage in Books for Living: Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting, and Embracing Life. Author Will Schwalbe shares a story about a woman who was feeling out of touch with her grandson, who lived in a different state. When she would call him to ask about school or how his day was, he would respond in one-word answers. "Fine. Nothing. Nope." Then one day, she asked him what he was reading. His answer was The Hunger Games—a series of novels for young adults. The grandmother decided to read the first volume. Then this happened: "The book helped this grandmother cut through the superficialities of phone chat and engage her grandson on the most important questions humans face about survival and destruction and loyalty and betrayal and good and evil, and about politics as well. And it helped her grandson engage with his grandmother on these same issues—not as a child in need of a lecture, but as a fellow seeker.... [T]hey were no longer just grandmother and grandson: they were two readers embarked on a journey together. Now her grandson couldn't wait to talk to her when she called.... The Hunger Games gave them inspiration for deeper discussions than they had ever had, and it provided them with a wealth of prompts for their conversations.... Other than the accident of family, they had never had much in common. Now they did. The conduit was reading."

When Dave Mustaine—co-founder, guitarist and vocalist for the heavy metal band Megadeth—was diagnosed with throat cancer, he called someone who had battled the same disease: Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of Iron Maiden. Quoted in Forbes, Mustaine said: "After I was diagnosed with it, I thought, 'I want to call Bruce,' it’s not like I have a whole Rolodex of rock friends that sing heavy metal music that have throat cancer, [laughs] so my choices were limited. I was pretty proud of Bruce after speaking with him. Although we’re not super close, I consider him to be someone I look up to. He basically told me the same thing I just told you: surround yourself with good, upbeat, positive people, places and things and try not to cause any unnecessary stress on yourself."

In my experience, this lack of confidence is exhibited by women more than by men. As successful as I was in my career, I held myself back at times. I thought that I couldn’t accept or apply for a particular job if I didn’t meet every single requirement, and I shied away from at least one opportunity out of fear that it might involve a greater commitment than I felt I could give at that point in my life.

So why do we worry? Wu suggests several reasons:

Wu states that worries are just stories we tell ourselves or merely bits and pieces of dialogue our brain repeats. It’s up to us to decide whether these thoughts represent something true, meaningful or helpful.

A maple tree.

Old.

Be kind.

"Make a list of things to look forward to in both the near and far future. Sometimes it can feel like there is nothing to look forward to, so we’ll start by saying we know that this is easier said than done. That’s why we’re proponents of creating things to look forward to too. That might mean reframing your thinking (you can look forward to something as simple as the next warm sunny day, or getting into bed with clean sheets) or adding something to your calendar for next week, month, or year."

— "50 of Our All-Time Best Mental Health Tips to Help You Feel a Little Bit Better," Self magazine

I've always found that doing something physical that requires limited concentration—such as walking, cleaning a room, or gardening—allows me to contemplate an issue without focusing on it directly. It offers a perfect balance between fixating on a problem and ignoring it completely, which often leads to a fresh perspective.

"So when someone comes to you with a problem, the very first thing you need to do is validate their experience. Acknowledge how they’re feeling. Be team them for...just a second. Sit with them in the experience long enough for them to know that they’re not alone."

— Dr. Allison

But when our differences hurt no one, it's best to live and let live. To accept the beautiful diversity of humanity. To remember that other people have different priorities, preferences and proclivities. And to respect all the ways that people differ—because weird and ordinary, atypical and typical, and abnormal and normal depend on how we look at it.

The Every Woman Study™ found that, among nine countries, the average time from the onset of ovarian cancer symptoms to diagnosis—made up of the time for someone to see a healthcare professional and the time for the healthcare system to diagnosis the disease—ranged from 21 weeks to more than 35 weeks, with the greatest time to diagnosis in Canada (35.6 weeks) and the United States (36.5 weeks).

The study found that the majority of relatives of patients with advanced cancer were often poorly prepared or had insufficient capabilities to play the role of caregiver. The study participants were more often at the lower levels of the activation continuum.... Many felt overwhelmed and experienced high levels of caregiver burden and numerous health‐related problems, such as sleep disturbances. However, caregivers in the higher levels of activation tended to be partners, those who provided more hours of informal care, those who were more resilient, and those who engaged more frequently in personal self‐care practices. These individuals had less caregiver burden, fewer depressive symptoms, and better social well‐being.