In response to last night's post, a Canadian living in the UK sent me an email to share the 6 her husband of almost 50 years does for her.

She provided this example: "one time after visiting my family in Canada at Christmas, I returned to England to learn that he had asked his mother to teach him how to knit so that he could make me a 10-foot scarf to wrap around (and around!) my neck because I had mentioned that I found the damp Oxford winters very chilling."

And she shared a story of their spending the night in a rundown hotel, where at least one hungry mosquito buzzed about: "I tried to protect my skin with the sheets as best I could, and to my delighted surprise, when I awoke in the morning I had no sign of mosquito bites. Then my husband showed me his bite-marked bare arms, which he had deliberately left outside the covers all night long, offering himself up as a blood sacrifice in the hope that any hungry mosquito would become sated by biting him all night long and so leave me alone!"

But the most touching example was this one: "And since I was recently surprised with a diagnosis of terminal ovarian cancer, not a day goes by that I don’t find a loving decorative 'squiggle' on one of the daily meals he makes." I was both saddened and inspired by her story. She showed so much gratitude and love, despite her health challenges. Her email reminded me of L.R. Knost's poem (below), which reads—in part—"Life doesn't always get better. But you do. You get stronger. You get wiser. You get softer."

I didn't want to forget this.

"Trust your journey. Your speed doesn't matter. Forward is forward."

~ Author unknown

"Some friendships will grow and shift along with you, while others will dissolve as you evolve. Try not to take this personally; it doesn't make the relationship any less valuable. Faithfully honor the friends that grow with you. Cherish them. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones to have such long friendships. And when time allows, welcome new friendships with curiosity, love, and a wide-open heart. These new friends, too, can become part of your beautifully curated family."

~ Cyndie Spiegel, A Year of Positive Thinking

"The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"You know what really gives you satisfaction? ... Offering others what you have to give…. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling…. You don’t need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed."

"When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it’s as close to healthy as I ever feel."

~ Morrie Schwartz, as quoted by Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie

When my kids were young, I would occasionally request books on tape (as we called them then) from the Ottawa Public Library. One story that I loved but have never been able to find since was a tale narrated by Blythe Danner in which she says, "Nick, I'm comin' to get you." My kids would listen intently for that line and then giggle when she said it.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

~ Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic" speech, as quoted by Brené Brown in Daring Greatly

I used to hate cancer. But just as I have learned to co-exist with winter and even experience moments of joy despite the cold and ice and snow, I have learned to co-exist with cancer. I have enjoyed many wonderful occasions in the past six months while dealing with the disease, including ringing the bell to mark the end of chemotherapy.

"Life doesn't always get better.

But you do. You get stronger.

You get wiser. You get softer.

With tattered wings you rise.

And the world watches in wonder

at the breathless beauty of

a human who survived life."

~ L.R. Knost

"What may seem lazy might really be a coping skill for a mental health issue. Resting can help someone recover from burnout. Depression can make just getting out of bed challenging. You never know what someone may be going through and silently struggling with."

~ Barb Schmidt and Michelle Maros

When I reflect on the first three jobs that came to mind in response to the question "the best job you ever had?" I see patterns: respectful bosses, nurturing colleagues, supportive employees, challenge, autonomy, encouragement, meaning, purpose, impact, appreciation, and freedom to be authentic.

"Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you."

~ Zig Ziglar

What is perhaps most valuable to note—especially on Valentine's Day—is that romantic intimacy is just one type of connection. Many other types of relationships can bring equally significant rewards and benefits to our lives. As [psychiatrist Robert] Waldinger says at the end of his 2015 TEDx Talk, "The good life is built with good relationships."

I had coffee with a friend and former colleague today, and recalled a model we had come across when we worked together in the Canadian Forest Service at Natural Resources Canada. The model was called Relationships, Possibilities, Action. The idea is that before a group of individuals can move to action, they need to explore the possibilities, and before they can explore the possibilities, they need to build relationships with each other. Only then, can the group take action.